Rushing the process

One of the things I like to do is bake.  Cakes in particular.  I like seeing what can be created, testing out new recipes and I love cake.  A couple of weeks ago I got a little creative, in my quest to find a good white/yellow cake recipe (from scratch).  I took my favorite chocolate cake recipe and just left out the chocolate.  Then I added Lemon Curd to the buttercream frosting and YUM!  Still not completely in love with the cake recipe, so I'll keep testing.

Today I am making a Salted Caramel Chocolate Cake.  It's from Martha's magazine.  I made the cake yesterday and the caramel and frosting today.  Currently the cake sits in the fridge, layered with the caramel, waiting for the frosting.  But I noticed a little issue.  The caramel is kinda oozing from the layers (6 total).  Which brings me to my problem with baking.

I tend to want to rush things along.  I don't always give myself enough time and try to rush the process.  Today is good example.  The caramel probably should have cooled just a little bit more before I added it to the layers, it probably wouldn't ooze as much.  But I'm supposed to be somewhere in 10 minutes with the cake, so I couldn't wait!  The result is a cake that I hope will taste good but looks a little messy.

I realized as I was thinking about it, that I'm not very good at waiting in life sometimes either.  Especially now.  I want a job.  I want to be settled into something and not just floundering.  I want this process to speed up.  Instead of really enjoying the moments, I'm finding myself getting anxious and trying to rush things along.  But that's not how God works.  I heard the other day that the average job search takes 180 days.  I almost flipped out.  That's 6 months!  I can't wait 6 months to have a job!!!

Or can I?  Is it really up to me?  Am I really trusting that God has me on this journey?  Am I really trusting that God will provide what I need, when I truly need it?  Or am I doubting God's promise to be with me on the journey?  I think I may be rushing the process.  *Sigh*

Got to go, I have a cake to frost.

The stress is building

It is 2pm. So far today I have sat in an 1 1/2 long staff meeting, helped Fabulous Office Manager put a new program on her computer, walked around the high school campus visiting students, started my computer, eventually answered emails, put lunch in the microwave and made a list of things that I need for tonight.

In the next 3 1/2 hours I need to print out the insert for Sunday's bulletin, write and print out the brochure for the High School Snow Trip, buy supplies for tonight, wrap the white elephant gifts for tonight, compile songs for tonight's "carol-a-thon", write a letter to an unhappy person, put finishing touches on the media stuff for Sunday's worship service, send in the deposit and contract for a rental house for the Snow Trip, put together an estimate for the Snow Trip expenses, set up for tonight's games, post a blog on the Pearlington site about where we stand financially, put together a song list for R.A.W. and make sure I have the overheads, check out the memory information on Church computer and send that information to a friend who's helping figure out the memory problems...and the list goes on. Wait, pastor just called me, add to that list put together a lyric sheet so we can sing Silent Night out underneath the stars on Christmas Eve (if it doesn't rain).

Tomorrow is my silent retreat day, Christmas is a week away in 9 days I leave for Mississippi and I can feel the stress building, building, building.

The Swamp Monster

Sometimes it's funny having a blog. I tend to start writing something and then remember that I've written about that before! For instance I started to share my feelings about Halloween and then realized I've already done that! I won't repeat myself.

R.A.W. just ended about an hour ago and as I was driving home I found myself getting irritated with a lot of things...like the radio, the person driving in front of me who was going 7 miles below the speed limit, my knee that is hurting again, people I've been around today, all kinds of things. It suddenly dawned on me that I'm not really irritated with all those things, I'm just feeling like I've been overtaken by the Swamp Monster and I want out!

All week I've felt like I've been running from one thing to another. Worship team, Church, Youth Group, staff meeting, prayer meeting, Mississippi meeting, lunch at the schools, meeting with the elementary principal (and subsequent phone calls) for Sharefest, Sharefest, coffee with a friend, lunch with friends, Bible Study, dentist appointment, walking with K, helping Songfriend move, a night with Yo Momma and friends at an Amy Grant concert, Uncle K's 50th birthday party, the list just keeps rolling on. There is stuff on that list that drained me, stuff that filled me up, stuff that made me happy, stuff that made me sad. I realized tonight that not only is my car's gas gauge on empty, I'm nearing empty as well. I think I've been nearing empty for awhile though and that's what has me feeling like the Swamp Monster is trying to take over my life.

What scares me is that I've taken care of myself a lot this month. I've had time off, I've gone on a silent retreat day, I've been to the Youth Workers Convention, I've slept in, read fluff books, read serious books, read the Bible, prayed. Yet I still feel like I'm nearing empty. Tonight I'm fighting off the Swamp Monster.

Hair and pictures

Is it possible to actually feel hair turning gray? I swear I just felt more hair turn gray just a few seconds ago. There it goes again! Yes, my stress level is high. No, I don't want to blog about it. Instead I will show you a few pictures.

This is a picture of Mr. K's house in Pearlington when we left in March.

This is the picture I received over the weekend.

This is a picture of the front yellow house last December.

This is what it looked like from the backyard this weekend. The water isn't supposed to be there.

Praying for Pearlington, Galveston, Houston and all the places that Ike unleashed his fury.