There are 27 drafts of blog posts sitting in my blogger dashboard. Some are deep, emotionally charged entries, some are pithy throw away things. Some have been there for a year or more, many have been written in the past 6 months.
When Papa Bear died, one very wise friend who has been on the journey of grief more than once said, "Keep blogging...even if those posts never see the light of day, keep blogging." So I have.
Blogging started out as a way of communicating with the people back home when we went on our Mississippi Mission trips (plus there was this one blog ring that had caught my attention and I wanted to be a part of that group!) It was much easier to write on a blog and add pictures than to send an email to each person wanting to know what was happening while we were away. Blogging also helped me process what we had seen and done those days. I kept it up after coming home and soon started a separate blog just for the Mississippi Trips...ca2ms.blogspot.com.
Blogging has become an emotional outlet, a place where I can air my thoughts and feelings and either people read it or people don't. Lately, though, the blog posts have started piling up. I tend to edit what gets published for multiple reasons. One is out of respect for those who read this page, another is out of respect for my own piece of mind. Some would read what I have written and become VERY concerned about where I stand with God these days or how I am dealing with grief or my political stance or... I need to write down my thoughts, my hurts, my heart on this journey of life and grief but I don't always need feedback or input. I just need to write. I've never been great at keeping a journal in handwritten book form (it's too slow!) but I can type my thoughts out, hit save and go on my way. Blogging works, however irregular posting happens.
And so, my blogger dashboard has 27 unpublished posts just sitting, waiting, ready for that moment when I reread them, do a little editing and hit the "publish" button or simply hit "save" and let them sit for a little while longer. So though it may be weeks between posts, never fear, I am here. I am blogging...I'm just not publishing.
Okay...make that 26.