Pondering change courtesy of The Walking Dead

Somehow I became a fan of the TV show The Walking Dead.  If you know me in real life, you are probably just as surprised as I am. I don't like horror movies and do NOT like to be scared.  Zombies are not my usual fare. I am not ashamed to admit, I watch the show with my finger on the mute button. The zombie moans and sounds of heads being bashed in are too much for me. (Yo Momma would be recounting the story, right about now, of how when I was little I was watching something and got scared, prompting me to cover my ears and say "I don't want to watch, I don't want to watch."  It was the noise that was the problem.)

I got sucked into The Walking Dead by one of AMC's marathons.  I think I originally started somewhere in Season 3.  I got to know the characters after they had been entrenched in this zombie apocalypse for awhile.  They had this zombie thing pretty much under their belts and were dealing with the human conundrum.  I never went back to watch the first seasons, until the latest AMC marathon.   I got sucked in, again, but this time for another reason.  I sat there, looking back to the beginning of the show, amazed at how much changed in such a short time. Not only in the story line but in the characters themselves.  I "met" old-but-new-to-me characters.  I marveled at the differences in the voices of characters.  Really, go listen to Glenn in season one and then go listen to Glenn now...his voice has changed.  I almost didn't recognize Carol.  And Darryl...WOW!  He actually talked, a lot, those first couple of seasons...and his hair was really short.

It's just a TV show but marveling at the differences between season one and season five, I began to think about real-life.  We all go through changes, most are not nearly as extreme as the zombie apocalypse, but many are extreme and really tough to deal with just the same.  I wonder what I would marvel at if I was able watch a movie of my life...or my friends lives...or my family members.

I know that I'm not the same person I was 10 years ago or even a year ago.  I can look at family members and friends around me and say the same thing.  Our circumstances change us.  We adapt and, hopefully, grow with each new situation we find ourselves in.

The last few years have brought about a lot of changes in my life.  Some expected, some unexpected.  There are many I would like to go back and get a do-over on, but one thing is for certain, with each change comes new growth, new vision, new wisdom, new opportunities and a reminder that I have a responsibility to make something out of my life, right now.  I can just sit by and watch the days go by or I can choose to get up, to walk out the door each morning and participate in the life I've been given, changes and all.

Maybe, that's why I've connected so much with The Walking Dead.  These characters have found themselves in a situation where they are forced to adapt to the changes of the world around them, or die.  It's fascinating to see the metamorphosis of the characters as they learn to deal with the situations in front of them and fight to survive, as best they can, accepting the good and the bad inside of themselves.

Sunday night, as exhausted as I was from a super long day, I found myself staying awake, waiting for 9pm and the beginning of a new season of The Walking Dead.  It was gross and awesome and there was more humor amidst the darkness than I had noticed before.  I actually laughed out loud a couple of times...huh, change?

Pull up a chair, let's talk

On a Facebook page recently, there was a question - "When you meet God, how will you introduce yourself?"  I believe the question came from a book.  Since I haven't read the book and don't know the context of the question, I took the question at face value.  I was reading through the comments and thinking about my own reaction when I realized "that'll blog".

I believe God will know me when we meet, and I believe I will know God when the time comes, so I don't know that I will introduce myself.  Or, maybe I will say, "God, it's nice to see you face to face...now I have some questions."

I would like to sit and chat with God about those things which perplex me.  I would like to chat with God about all the things we God-followers say God stands for and really hear what God has to say.  I would like to know what God's true stance is on all the hot button topics - and would like the chance to say "A-ha!  I KNEW it!" but that's my ego talking. I would like to chat with God about the big picture, about the hard stuff that I've dealt with, the loss, the hurt, the confusion, the emptiness and the longing.  I would like to chat with God about that verse in Psalms - the desires of your heart one - and then unfold what the desires of my heart really were as opposed to my brain conjured desires.  I have a hard time telling the difference between the two sometimes.

I would like to ask God about the roads I've taken, the choices I've made and where I could have taken a different path.  I'm merely curious at what God would have done differently.

I would like to ask the silly questions:
- Why mosquito's?
- For that matter - black widows - rattlesnakes - scorpions - you get the picture.
- Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
- What was the fruit on the tree of knowledge?

There are tougher questions.  Questions that come up when I am in low spots, when I'm wondering what life is really all about.  Questions that plague me when things happen and people make remarks that fly in the face of my experiences of what is deemed God's nature.  Questions that will remain between me and God.

Yes, I have a lot of questions for God, from the silly to the serious.

I've had people tell me that when I meet God, I won't really want to ask any questions.  To which I silently say, "Thanks for pointing out how ridiculous I seem to you.  I'll stop talking now."  That doesn't stop me from having questions...and from hoping that when we meet, the God I follow would look at me, after my initial approach, and say, "Pull up a chair, let's talk."