Sunday, September 9, 2012

Friday Five: I Need Help--Day Three

I am horrendously awful about asking for help.  The part of me that always, always, feels like a failure gets in my way and stops me from asking for help.  I am the helper, not the one in need. Maybe I don't like to feel indebted to other people.  Maybe my perfectionism gets in the way and its easier to ask to do things myself than ask for help.  I know a part of me hates to be let down, so not asking for help means that no one can let me down.  Whatever it is, I am awful about asking for help.

So I don't.  Yet there are two people who help me all the time, without being asked or even when I don't want to ask.  Now some may say it's their duty, but I know better.  They help because of love and I am grateful.  I live with my parents.  When I moved back in after college they were gracious and I only intended it to be for a year or two.  That year or two has been extended, considerably.  I like to think it's a little give and take.  They are retired, they travel but I'm around and can take care of things while they are away.  I've heard from both of them, separately at times that there is absolutely no rush to move out, in fact I'm pretty sure they both like having me around...most of the time.  I am human, I do get grumpy and they are the first line of fire when things are going awry.  I'm sorry for that but I'm also so grateful for their help.

If I am close to my breaking point, they are the people I will turn to first.  It never fails if I'm feeling stressed or scared or sad or whatever and I hear the voice of Yo Momma or Papa Bear, I'm done.  The tears start.  And they are always there to help.  No matter what.  I also know they are proud of me.  No matter what.  Sure, my relationship with my parents can be a little rocky at times but never once do I doubt their love and support.  I know beyond a doubt that I am blessed with two amazing people for parents.  And I am grateful for their help...even when I don't want to ask.

No comments: