Last Sunday afternoon I found myself flipping channels. On one station was a really awful horror movie, the type I NEVER let myself watch because my imagination already runs rampant enough. But there I was, my attention caught, as this cross between a human/bat kinda thing that was called a creeper stalked down unsuspecting humans. It was an awful movie. I will never go in a cornfield again.
On the other channel was the Hallmark movie of the week. Some schmaltzy equally awful romantic something or another that clearly wasn't as captivating as the human/bat creeper because I kept going back to that channel. Back and forth I went between the two until the creeper thing came to an end and then, well I wasn't going to watch Final Destination 2 or 3 or whatever it was, so I wound up on the Hallmark channel again.
Later that evening I was with a friend, relating my day spent watching two awful movies and beating myself up ever so slightly for wasting my day when the 2x4 of reality hit me over the head...watching those two movies was really all I could do that day, I had no more emotional or mental strength left.
Almost two weeks ago, now, Tuesday my Dad or Papa Bear as he is known on this blog, was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia. Just like that he went from living to be 105 like Great-Grandpa Ben to really hoping to make it to 73 or 74 or 75 or 76, heck 80! There's a lot they are doing to treat Acute Myeloid Leukemia and we are going to be aggressive and fight this all the way into remission but still, the blow of the fragility of life took it's toll.
Yo Momma and I were on our way to meeting Lil' Bro and family at the Happiest Place on Earth when we got the news. Yo Momma has a lead foot when she wants to...she almost cut across two lanes of traffic to make a u-turn to head home. I did wind up going to meet Lil' Bro the next day and we spent three days together attempting to push away reality at the Happiest Place on Earth, being family and keeping things normal for Little Miss P. Sometimes you just do what you gotta do.
Last Sunday morning I woke with dread knowing what was coming in church that day and not wanting to get up. Not only did I not want to talk about what is happening with Papa Bear, I knew that sometime before church was over Youth Pastor Friend was going to tell the congregation he was leaving full-time ministry. Even knowing it was the right decision and that God is in the midst of his decision, it was still hard to sit and listen to the words flow from his lips. There was this horrible mix in my head of Youth Pastor friend leaving, Papa Bear's life in crisis and my own sense of everything being so far out of control I just couldn't breathe.
And so, there I was on Sunday afternoon with nothing left in me, watching a horrible horror movie and a horrible Hallmark romance and occasionally finding tears welling up in my eyes. Tears are only a millisecond away these days. It's been a long couple of weeks and there are longer weeks ahead.
Tomorrow I will get up and go to work as usual. Yo Momma and Papa Bear will get up and call the hospital to find out what time he is to admitted. Five weeks from now we hope the leukemia is in remission so that a bone marrow transplant can take place. As I have told Papa Bear, there are no options, he will fight this and he will fight this hard. We are going to kick leukemia to the curb.
This afternoon Papa Bear and I sat in the family room and watched the Giants and Dodgers battle for a win. We watched the players do their thing and eventually cheered when the Giants won in the 10th inning (they can never make it an easy win). I look forward to the day when Papa Bear and I can go to another Giants game together at AT & T park. I will buy the best seats possible for that game. Life throws curve balls every once in a while and sometimes all we can do is just step back and watch them go by, waiting for just the right moment to hit that ball right out of the park.