I'm sitting in a hospital room at the really good hospital about an hour away from our house listening to Papa Bear sleep. We've teased him for years that when he drops into a deep sleep he sounds a little bit like Darth Vader breathing. He doesn't always appreciate the comparison. Every so often his fingers, toes or legs will twitch and then the bed adjusts so reduce the risk for bed sores. I'm finding these little things comforting today.
It's been two weeks since Papa Bear was admitted. Almost 30 full days since the Acute Myeloid Leukemia diagnosis. His last day of chemo was Thursday and it won't be until this coming Thursday when he has another bone marrow test to see if the chemo has been successful. We'll know the next steps once those test results come back.
Last Monday I arrived at his room to find Papa Bear in tears on the phone with Yo Momma and a big white bandage on his temple. He had fallen in the wee hours of the morning. Luckily it wasn't super serious but it was serious enough. Additionally, there had been a complication with some of his medicine that caused another problem and he was in pain. I left the hospital that night feeling helpless. There was nothing I could do but offer support and encouragement and cry along with him. So that's what I did but still, I wanted so bad to take away the pain.
Friday there was another issue that caused him to be transferred to the Critical Care unit. He just needed to be monitored for about 48 hours then was transferred back to the Oncology floor. Today, I walked in to find him completely out, Darth Vader breathing and all. He'd had a reaction to something and so they gave him benadryl to combat the reaction. Sleep city. His blood count is low, so they will be doing more transfusions today but for right now the nurse just wants him to sleep.
I could go somewhere else, shopping, to lunch, for coffee, IKEA, (I would say the beach but it's back at home and with the amount of people heading into Beach Town as I was leaving, I'm perfectly content to not be there), but really all I need to do is be here, listening to him sleep, watching the twitching fingers and toes and being near. Today that's my job and I'm okay with it.