Running headlong into myself

It happens suddenly.
There is no warning system, no check engine light, no siren.
One minute life is going along just fine,
the next I'm running headlong into myself.

Depending on the moment,
depending on the circumstance,
depending on which way the wind is blowing
the person who looks back takes various forms.

There is the confident,
well adjusted,
content woman.
Waiting and watching.  Prayerful.

There is the snarky,
frustrated,
emotional girl.
Watching and anxious.  Not so prayerful.

There is the wounded,
scared,
hope-less child.
Anxious and alone.  Desperately prayerful.

There is the completely self-aware,
selfish,
totally self-focused woman.
Alone.  Prayer? 

There is the masked,
sad,
overwhelmingly lost child of God.
Waiting.
Watching.
Anxious.
Alone.
Praying...
                     running headlong into myself.