Whirlwind of emotions

Oh the last week! It's been a whirlwind of work, excitement, sadness, expectations, surprises and, well, just the ups and downs of life.

If you have been following the Mississippi Team blog, you know that we were able to help get a homeowner out of the trailer he's been living in, into his house. It was great moment to see the truck with furniture pull up and watch beds, a sofa and more head into the house.These pictures came over email and text messages of a party happening in California that I was missing to work in Mississippi (something that I have no regrets about at all) and then came the phone call that had the team in Mississippi hootin' and hollerin' loud enough to be heard in California, I'm sure.That's SuperSarah and R-girl with the local TV anchor...they were kind enough (along with Momma J) to represent me at the Award Ceremony!

This photo came with the caption "The Winner!"

There were a few days when I was SO tired and grumpy and trying really hard to be positive but failed miserably. Sigh. Dumb posts...
The hard part about serving in the mission field is that in one way or another a part of you is left behind. Before we left, I spoke to a group of youth and adults at another church about serving in Mississippi and told them that every single trip, no matter what, our hearts are broken over and over and over again. I wasn't making it up.

As much as we expect it, it still takes me by surprise. That feeling of utter helplessness, knowing that you can't fix what is really hurting on the inside of the people we meet. That no matter how hard we work all week, we won't get everything done. We rely on God to meet the needs of the people we meet, we share the love, hope and joy that we find in Jesus, we speak with love, hope and joy and we give a part of ourselves away each and every time.

And coming on the heels of that realization was also the realization that this really could be the end of this journey. The work has slowed way down, though there are still things to do. The future of taking teams to Mississippi is very much up in the air and that reality was intruding all week long. I feel like I'm beginning a grieving process.

Which is why Lil Bro got a text saying "send pics please!" He obliged and Little Miss Payten appeared on my phone throughout the week. Thanks Lil Bro! (If you can't read it on the pic Little Miss P is wearing her "First New Orleans T-shirt"...hee-hee!)

This yo-yo kind of weekwas capped off by a surprise this morning waiting for me in my office...there was a break in!

A special message from Mississippi

for a very specific person

:)

Wow

That's all I can really say right now is Wow.

I'm in Mississippi. The Jefferson Award Ceremony for my region was tonight...2000 miles away from where I am. Three fantastically wonderful friends went to the Ceremony in my place. They sent pics and texts and called and were wonderfully wowed by it all. And then there was nothing. No calls, no pics, no texts. The team here in Mississippi with me wanted to know...what's going on!

So I sent a text. "Debbie wants to see more pictures". And I got this text. "You won! You are going to DC!". NO.WAY! "Don't joke with me about this" was my response. And then the phone rang and there was much noise and hoopla and shouts and acclamations and some pretty silly happy dancing...and that was all in Mississippi. I melted into the floor when it finally sunk in...you think I'm joking...no joke. On the floor.

After a tumultuous 24 hour period in which I've had fun, frustration, dilemma's and more, to be told that the things that we are doing in Mississippi is worthy of being honored...it just is too much. I think my soul is overflowing...I know my head is racing so fast that I can barely think...it's just so cool, such an honor and completely overwhelming. Not just for me. Papa Bear could barely speak when I told him. He handed the phone to Yo Momma and couldn't get back on...that probably speaks more than any "I'm proud of you" he could say.

I'm blessed.

Learning curve

There are things that one learns on trips with other people. Good things sometimes, tough things other times, annoying things often. I'm sure there are a number of annoying things about me (and I'm not saying that to be humble, I annoy myself sometimes). I caught myself doing one of those things today and decided to walk away from a situation so that other's could achieve. It all worked out but I was annoyed with myself for being annoying. Yeah, logic missing.

Anyway, on trips with others where we co-reside in a home we learn who snores, who talks in their sleep, the person who wakes up the fastest, who is perkiest in the morning and who isn't (me!), who will be the first to volunteer to help with something and the last. We learn who keeps things super neat and who loses all their stuff within the first 15 minutes of arriving. We learn who will be the last one out of the house in the morning (Debbie), who takes the longest showers (Sammy), who needs the shortest amount of time to get ready in the morning and who talks until they fall asleep.

It's fascinating getting to know people on a deeper level, learning to navigate the nuances, dance around the unknown and completely unexpected, yet expected, when people snap after being pushed to their limits. I like knowing where the limits are for others, it's a good thing to know just how much teasing one can take and when to back off.

Then there are those gem moments. Those moments when someone does or says something that makes the room erupt, usually in laughter. No kidding. I thought I knew a lot about Harold and Kanda, I really did, but when in the midst of conversation Kanda said "Oh, they just need to eat green weenie's and die." I realized that I did not know them as well as I thought. It even stunned Joe who spent much of his life at their house. It stunned Kanda and Harold who claim they make that statement all the time and couldn't believe that none of us had heard it before. Believe me, haven't heard it...would have remembered it...am going to remember it from now on!

Mississippi Check list

Breakfast/lunch at Cracker Barrel--check.
Two hour gaggle about work projects this week--check.
Work projects change--check.
Ben giving me a bad time about anything he could--check.
Other Ben (Tom's son) giving me a bad time about paint colors--check.
Time spent listening to a local with lots on their heart--check.
Obligatory shopping trip to Wal-Mart--check.
Time spent on deck overlooking bayou--check.
Initial run to Lowes for supplies--check.
Laughter over the breakfast/lunch and dinner table--check.
1st person injured--check. (Not even on the job)
No-seeums (that you CAN SEE) swarming--check.
California girl operating on 4 1/2 hours sleep going to bed--check!

I spent the day with Songfriend and Todd T. It was the first time we'd hung out since October of 2008. Way too long. But good to catch up, to sit, talk "shop" and life and be grateful for the places that life has taken me and the people I've met along the way.

The morning started at the local newspaper, getting my picture taken. They are doing a story on the Jefferson Award, which is nice. I don't need the publicity, but it did get me thinking about this community in which I grew up and have chosen to live. I'm grateful for the people who have helped shape me into the person I am, whether that be family, friends or the members of the community I've come into contact with along the way. This award isn't just about the things that I do to help others, but about the people along the way who have taught me compassion, integrity, helped shape my sense of right and wrong, encouraged me and joined with me in the journey in Pearlington. I'm very blessed.

Tonight began with the packing of my bag for trip number 9 to Pearlington. It's hard to believe that it's time already. I'm trying not to over pack but that balance between just enough stuff and too much stuff can be pretty hard. Ugh. Just put me and my bag on a plane.

Tonight is ending with the realization of how fragile life is. One of my high school friend's husband is in a medically induced coma. He has cancer and underwent a bone marrow transplant recently. There are some pretty massive side effects of the transplant taking place, resulting in the need to induce a coma...it's just not looking good. I cannot even give words to the anguish that my friend is feeling and am just praying that God will come through with a miracle. A big one.

Monday night

It's 7:20 on a Monday night. I'm home, enjoying re-runs of "Grey's Anatomy". Why is it that I get addicted to shows AFTER they start the re-run circuit on Lifetime or TBS? I digress. It's a Monday night at 7:20 and I am home. This is unusual. Monday's are Worship Team Rehearsal Night. I'm never home before 8:15pm. But tonight someone else is leading the team because I'm going to Mississippi on Thursday and won't be here for worship on Sunday!!!!

I started my initial gathering of items over the weekend. Took my freshly laundered clothes and piled them in the spare room for packing. Tonight I pulled the roller bag off the rafters of the garage and then remembered my work boots. My poor $20 work boots that have seen me through 8 trips. They are showing the wear and tear, especially from the sticky floor at one of the houses in December. The soles are now coming loose. The toes are already wearing away, showing the metal underneath. Oh the power of those steel toes...I have sung many a refrain of "I am woman, hear me roar" while clomping around the Mississippi mud with those steel toed work boots. I've replaced my work gloves three or four times, but my boots...*sigh*.

Today my allergies came back with a series of sneezes and a raw throat. I took allergy meds for the first time in months and also decided to take the opportunity to enjoy some time alone before being surrounded with people (whom I love and am honored to spend time with, but really, this introvert doesn't get energized by people and I know it!) for 8 days. So I didn't go to work, stayed in and did...nothing. No preparing, no packing, no nothing. Just read a book, watched TV, browsed the Internet, played games and did...nothing. Feeling a little guilty about that? Check. Know that the next two and half days will be packed with things both stress-releasing (bumper cars, baby! lunch with songfriend and todd t.! a cut and a color, hallelujah!) and stress inducing (final preparations for being gone from church the week before Easter, packing, possible interview with local paper)? Check. Taking the day off worth it. Oh yeah!

And I didn't even mention last night where 7 women gathered around a table for good food, great margaritas, yummy chocolate, a little poker and a lot, a lot, a lot of laughter...and that's all you get to hear about that! What is said at the poker table, stays at the poker table. ;)