Friends

I received a text message this morning, complete with picture, that left me in tears...tears of laughter.  One minute I was working on the Monday Morning Message that didn't want to be manipulated the way I wanted it manipulated and the next I was laughing, loudly, in the office with tears rolling down my face.

I firmly contend that we all need someone, or a few someones, in our life with whom we can share the nitty-gritty details about daily living.  People with whom you can pour out the depths of your soul and know, for absolute certain, they are not judging you, nor are they laughing AT you.  People that you know your deepest darkest secrets can be unveiled and they won't tell another soul on earth.  People who have seen you at your worst and they still call or text or email.

I am grateful to have a few of those kinds of people in my life.  I am grateful, too, that it isn't a one way sharing street.  I can send the text that tells them about my latest adventure in being me and they will reciprocate...though usually not on the same day.

Here's to all those friends with whom we can bare our souls and know that we are safe!!!  And to text messages that make us laugh so hard we cry.  :)

It's all about the journey

The day isn't over yet, but I'm going to classify this as a good day.  An adjustment (it's great to have a chiropractor for a friend!), coffee with LN and a haircut all by noon.  Awesome.

I've been getting my haircut by the same person for almost 20 years, so our conversations are much more personal than superficial.  Today was a really good conversation.  I've been feeling pretty down lately, struggling with so many things and when I sat down in that seat I was ready for a transformation.  I expected it to be my hair, not my attitude though!  I got both.  In just an hour it was confirmed that I am A.) not the only one struggling with singleness, B.) not the only one wondering just what God is doing with my life and C.) not the only one who would just like some answers and direction, thankyouverymuch.  It was a good hour...and I have less hair.  YAY! 

The rest of the afternoon was spent hunting down bargains.  I exchanged a present for Yo Momma and wound up buying stocking stuffers for next Christmas at a really good deal.  Score!  Then went to the calendar store and bought a new calendar.  Though I have one of Little Miss P for the year, I love calendars and can't have enough.  The year I worked for Calendar Club I had tons of them!  Plus I learned to NEVER, EVER buy a calendar before Christmas.  They just get marked down 50% the day after Christmas.  I can wait.

There was a great sale at the bath store, so I spent the rest of a gift card and 4 cents there before heading over to Panda Express where I received the following fortune:  "Your happiness depends on your outlook on life."  Hmmmm...seemed to go along with some things that I had been talking about that morning in the beauty shop.

It's been a good day.  I feel content, for the moment.  Tomorrow will bring other emotions I am sure.  This rollercoaster time of life is challenging.  There are good days and there are the really awful ones and the in between days.  I'm learning to go with the flow and working at being present to the moment.  It's all about the journey.

A small Friday Five

I missed the Friday Five over at RevGals this week but I read it on Google Reader (love, love, love that service!).  This time the Friday Five was on gifts that we have received throughout the year...only they couldn't be store bought gifts, more of the gifts that life brings.  Anyway, it got me thinking about the the gifts I have been given this year, tangible and intangible.  In the midst of that musing, it dawned on me that one of the gifts that I have received is one that I semi-wished for for years.  It's the gift of time.

I remember thinking a few times during my time as Youth Director that all I really wanted was just a few months off.  A few months to do nothing, to just enjoy life, to have space to think, to relax and to breathe.  So here I am, with just what I wanted and what do I find myself doing...wanting to work.  Ha!

I am grateful for the gift of time and the gift of perspective...even when I whine about it. 

This morning at church...

Yo Momma and I have been attending a new church.  It's the same church were I work one day a week for the Youth Pastor as his Administrative Assistant (praise Jesus!).  A few weeks ago the church started promoting a new Sunday School class on Peacemaking.  We both looked at each other and said "I want to go to that class."  So we bought the books and have been going to the class.  It means getting to church an hour earlier, but seeing as how that time is two hours later than when we had to be at old church, it's not a problem.

This morning we pulled up and someone we knew as coming out to his car.  He looked at us as we got out and said "Brittany, did you hear what happened?  Did anyone call you?  There was a break-in last night!  They stole your computer!".  I immediately flashed on the envelope that has been sitting on my desk with cash and checks in it from an event and I went to see if that had been taken as well.  (It had not.)  Along the way I met several other people and learned that three computers were taken and the churches Suburban...which part of me isn't really sorry to see go.

Anyway, I breathed a little easier about the money, gave the Administrative Assistant a reassuring hug, took a quick look around the office and decided not to dwell on the break in and headed off to my class where we talked about finding peace with God.  In the midst of that class I found myself being used as an example, as in one person said "Let's say that I saw that something was going on in Brittany's life and I felt the need to confront her...".  Another person picked it up and I found myself the center of a discussion that wasn't really about me.  I told Yo Momma later that it was interesting that I was the safe one in that group to use as an example.  The conversation was good, the class is making me think, though I'm struggling a little with the author of book's approach to the topic of peacemaking.

Finally we got to the worship service...in the round!  All the chairs had been moved so that we were all facing the center of the room where the communion table was.  Instead of a sermon, the focus was on communion and Thanksgiving.  Several young ladies in the church read Scripture, several people prayed and then the floor was opened to the people in the congregation.  Microphones were passed around and people were encouraged to say what they were thankful for.  As I sat listening this group of people I started to think about what I was thankful for.  If the microphone was passed to me what would I say?  The more I listened to others, the more I pondered that question, the more I realized that I was grateful for the one thing that I have been struggling with the most...I am thankful for change.

I am thankful for change.  I am thankful for the conversation that God and I had back in May that lead to this upheaval in my life  I am thankful for time to rest and rediscover the meaning of the word "bored".  I am thankful for the opportunities I was given in my previous job and I am thankful that the transition has been a little rough in areas and easier in others.  I am thankful for a new place to worship that is offering me solace as I wait on God and grieve and for the people who have been welcoming and loving.  I am thankful for people who remember my name during communion, even though they have only met me a few times.  I am thankful for my 6 hour a week job.  I am thankful for friends who listen, even if they don't get it.  I am thankful for blogger friends who leave notes of encouragement and support as I whine.  I am thankful for the struggle to trust fully in God's plan and for the freedom to cry out to God in the midst of that struggle.  I am thankful for my family.  I am thankful for a place where I am finally beginning to feel fed again.  I am thankful for black and white paisley printed duct tape and the way it holds my guitar case together.  I am thankful for the nudge from a friend to get that guitar out of it's case and start playing again.  I am thankful for this journey, right now, the ups and downs, the laughter and the tears, the wondering and the regrets.  I am thankful for the memories of what was and the vast ocean of possibilities that is to come.   

Tonight I'm thankful for...

(because I need to focus on the good)

-->Caramel Apple Spice from Star$.

-->Hugs and kisses from Train Guy.

-->Rain.

-->A roof over my head a night.

-->Co-workers who make work enjoyable.

-->Train Guy's warning to Jeff (church custodian) as they ate lunch and watched Toy Story 2 together this afternoon "the next part is a dream...starting now."

-->Heaters.

-->A Light Blazes in the Darkness (yeah, I know, two blog shout outs...deal.)

-->Staff Breakfast tomorrow...I love breakfast out!

Things making me happy edition

In no particular order some things making me happy at the moment:

• The sound of rain hitting the deck outside my window.
• NCIS re-runs.
• Pumpkin Patches, Hay Bale Maze and youth who don't whine too much because of said rain.
• Dark Chocolate Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and I don't like dark chocolate that much!
• The joyous expressions on the faces of the SF Giants players as they finally ended the torture that was the playoffs...though that means there's World Series torture to come. I don't really even like baseball, but I know that winning can be easier!
  
• Library books.
• Laughing with new friends.
• Older friends who get it and aren't afraid to prod me gently.
  
• Pictures of Little Miss P on my wall, computer and phone...though they make me a little teary.
• Emi-pie calling me "Auntie Bertney".
  
• Train Guy's smile as three fabulous church folk greet him at the school bus with song.
• Family dinner with G.G. and Kappy.
• A place to call home.
  

Connections

I wasn't going to blog about this until I got home, but it just can't be left for later.

I'm in Washington DC this week. In March I was honored with a Jefferson Award for Community Service for my local community. I was chosen, out of those 6 people, to represent the Central Coast for the National Awards. Tonight was the beginning of the festivities. Each nominee was asked to give a one minute speech about why they were nominated. Mine went something like this:

"Good evening. My name is Brittany and I am here tonight because of Hurricane Katrina. Over the last four years I’ve had the honor of leading 9 teams of people, totaling around 60 people, from my hometown of Felton, California on work trips to Pearlington, Mississippi, a town ravaged by Hurricane Katrina. Over the course of those 9 trips we have worked alongside the residents of Pearlington to recover and rebuild their homes and their town. We have torn out and rebuilt, talked and listened, laughed and cried, sweat a lot and even left a little blood behind. Hurricane Katrina left a gaping hole in the lives of many in the Gulf Coast that almost 5 years later is still waiting to be healed. My team and I are committed to helping the residents of Pearlington heal for as long as we are needed or useful, and we do so honored to be used by God to bring hope back to the residents of Pearlington, Mississippi and the Gulf Coast."

I don't think it came out exactly like that, but it was close and it made Papa Bear cry, so it's all good!

After listening to the others give their speeches, we were dismissed for the evening. I headed out to double check on something that is happening tomorrow, when a young woman approached me and said "I just wanted to come say thank you for what you are doing. I lived in Pearlington."

This young woman, Chelsea, and her family are living in Memphis now, but they lived in Pearlington before the storm, right across the street from the post office. After she graduates, her parents are planning on moving back to Pearlington to rebuild. Chelsea is here because her school group is getting a Jefferson Award for Students in Action.

To put this into a little bit more perspective. There are 309,559,474 people living in the United States. There are probably about 500 or so people at the Jefferson Awards (I'm guessing, it could be a smaller number). Pearlington had about 1700 people living in the town before the hurricane. The odds of running into someone from Pearlington at the Jefferson Awards are so low it's ridiculous. But there I stood, talking with Chelsea. I told her my team would love to come help build her house. Tomorrow I plan on getting a picture with her and I'm gonna pass my phone number on to her as well. If the reason that I am here, right now, is to meet Chelsea, than the whole trip was worth it!

AND to top things off, when I checked into the hotel there was a note from the Washington Bureau of KSBW. Yep, on air interview in front of the hotel. CRAZY!

It's midnight here, bed is calling. Tomorrow is going to be a busy but good day. Pictures will have to wait til later but WOW what a night!

I spent the day with Songfriend and Todd T. It was the first time we'd hung out since October of 2008. Way too long. But good to catch up, to sit, talk "shop" and life and be grateful for the places that life has taken me and the people I've met along the way.

The morning started at the local newspaper, getting my picture taken. They are doing a story on the Jefferson Award, which is nice. I don't need the publicity, but it did get me thinking about this community in which I grew up and have chosen to live. I'm grateful for the people who have helped shape me into the person I am, whether that be family, friends or the members of the community I've come into contact with along the way. This award isn't just about the things that I do to help others, but about the people along the way who have taught me compassion, integrity, helped shape my sense of right and wrong, encouraged me and joined with me in the journey in Pearlington. I'm very blessed.

Tonight began with the packing of my bag for trip number 9 to Pearlington. It's hard to believe that it's time already. I'm trying not to over pack but that balance between just enough stuff and too much stuff can be pretty hard. Ugh. Just put me and my bag on a plane.

Tonight is ending with the realization of how fragile life is. One of my high school friend's husband is in a medically induced coma. He has cancer and underwent a bone marrow transplant recently. There are some pretty massive side effects of the transplant taking place, resulting in the need to induce a coma...it's just not looking good. I cannot even give words to the anguish that my friend is feeling and am just praying that God will come through with a miracle. A big one.

A good day

Yesterday I went to get my haircut at the appointment that I had rescheduled...only I wrote it down wrong. Not just wrong completely-on-the-wrong-day-wrong. What makes it even worse is that I wrote it down on the wrong day THINKING that it was the right date. First sign of needing a vacation? It was a long day.

Today was a day off. I took time this morning getting going. Made waffles and found Yo Momma's secret stash of milk chocolate chips, some of which jumped from my hand into the waffle batter. Yummy. Then headed off to the hair appointment I attempted to go to yesterday. Freshly washed and cut hair always makes me happy. My next stop was the big box store that sells car stereos. My lovely family listened to my pleas and I received gift cards for Christmas and my birthday this year. Today I spent them on a new car stereo. After years of having a CD player that eats CD's I am happy to say it is no longer in my car. Yea! I have a new one that has a USB port so that I can hook up my I-Pod easier as well. Love it. Only drawback so far, little buttons. It was bought and installed in a hour. AND the guys who installed it rescued the CD's that were stuck in my old stereo. As Mr. Ben would say, beautamous.

Heading home I remembered the receipt in my wallet for a free coffee. Oh, yeah good stuff. Add in a quick stop at the chiropractor (K) and great hugs from Nat, Lu and Meg and today has been a good day. And it all started with chocolate chip waffles.

Texting Friends

Whew. It's been a long week. My emotions have been up and down and all around, and so have I physically. Saturday was a baby shower in Tahoe for baby #4 aka my niece. I've been buying little girl clothes for months, months! It didn't stop either. Stopped at Target on the way up and found a onesie for 98 cents. Sold!

Anyway, despite the joy of celebrating the upcoming arrival baby #4, Saturday was a tough day for different reasons. In the midst of feeling low, I sent a text to K. I will admit it was a pitiful text. She was fantastic though and started sending me pictures. Pictures of Adventure Boy and Meg's Little Bitty. Oh-so-cute! And then I got this one.That would be Meg, Little Bitty, Lu & Nat. Loved it! So grateful for friends who will let friends take pictures of you in bunny ears and then send it to another friend who is feeling pitiful. Blessed.

Last night, after the baby shower, I headed home. Made pretty good time too. It was way too hot though, when a temp gauge reads 99 degrees at 7:30 at night it's too hot. Anyway, got home and swapped texts with Yo Momma, one that ended with her saying "you make me laugh". First, I love that my mom can text, but second I'm grateful to have a mom who is also a friend that I can have fun with. Blessed, again.

Tonight, I went out and got Chinese food from the local market. Opinionated Friend told me something about the fortunes in the fortune cookies that has cracked me up ever since...that I'm not going to share here because my dad reads this blog and it's a little embarrassing. Tonight's fortune was extremely funny with the addition that O.F. clued me into so I sent her a text sharing it with her. Her response had me laughing and I suddenly felt so grateful to be surrounded by such a great cloud of friends. Triple blessed.

I've got lots of family and I have a huge family of friends...and I am blessed.

Blog going dark for a little while...the insanity has begun! Catch you on the flip side.

Thankful...

Today I am thankful for...

• Friends who support, encourage and love me for me
• Snuggles and kisses from Train Guy and Adventure Boy
• New clothes
• 10% off coupons and discounts that making buying said new clothes a little less painful
• A roof over my head and some funny, frustrating and wonderful housemates (Just being honest)
• Old movies...(watching the Music Man on netflix as I write this)
• Christmas music on the radio
• White Chocolate Mocha's and the barista at Star$'s who makes them correctly
• A job that challenges me
• A God that challenges me
• People who allow me feel what I feel, when I feel it
• Books that inspire me, encourage me and just help me relax
• Family
• Blogs that inspire me, encourage me and make me laugh out loud!
• Life

And I'm thankful for all of you who read this blog! Having an audience is awesome! :)