Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Dancing with grief

Monday K's dad died. It was unexpected and quick. There are snippets of things that she will always remember from these days such as sitting down with Train Guy trying to explain why Grandma is here and Grandpa is not or the exact place where she got the news. The days leading up until Friday's funeral will seem to drag on and then that time will be suddenly over. People will expect her to be done grieving in a couple of months, maybe even just a couple of weeks. But that grieving time cannot be rushed. She will feel what she feels when she feels it. For K time will pass slowly and quickly simultaneously.

Two years ago today I began a dance with grief. Not for a father but for a brother of the heart. It too was sudden, though not quite unexpected. There are snippets of memories from those days that will always be with me. Getting the phone call at worship team rehearsal and the hugs from K and others as I fell apart. Driving in the race car with Lil Bro knowing that we needed to be with each other but also knowing that we had nothing to say. Sitting on the shore at LT doing a lot of yelling at God (though being the private person I am the yelling happened in my head). My dance with grief was intense for a long time but gradually the dance slowed down. Every so often, though, it catches me off guard and sends me spinning in a new direction.

Friday I will stand in the audience as K's family begins their dance with grief. And a part of me will dance with them knowing that they too will have a "two years ago" day and that even then the grieving will not be done.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You make me cry.