Sunday, October 26, 2008

The Swamp Monster

Sometimes it's funny having a blog. I tend to start writing something and then remember that I've written about that before! For instance I started to share my feelings about Halloween and then realized I've already done that! I won't repeat myself.

R.A.W. just ended about an hour ago and as I was driving home I found myself getting irritated with a lot of the radio, the person driving in front of me who was going 7 miles below the speed limit, my knee that is hurting again, people I've been around today, all kinds of things. It suddenly dawned on me that I'm not really irritated with all those things, I'm just feeling like I've been overtaken by the Swamp Monster and I want out!

All week I've felt like I've been running from one thing to another. Worship team, Church, Youth Group, staff meeting, prayer meeting, Mississippi meeting, lunch at the schools, meeting with the elementary principal (and subsequent phone calls) for Sharefest, Sharefest, coffee with a friend, lunch with friends, Bible Study, dentist appointment, walking with K, helping Songfriend move, a night with Yo Momma and friends at an Amy Grant concert, Uncle K's 50th birthday party, the list just keeps rolling on. There is stuff on that list that drained me, stuff that filled me up, stuff that made me happy, stuff that made me sad. I realized tonight that not only is my car's gas gauge on empty, I'm nearing empty as well. I think I've been nearing empty for awhile though and that's what has me feeling like the Swamp Monster is trying to take over my life.

What scares me is that I've taken care of myself a lot this month. I've had time off, I've gone on a silent retreat day, I've been to the Youth Workers Convention, I've slept in, read fluff books, read serious books, read the Bible, prayed. Yet I still feel like I'm nearing empty. Tonight I'm fighting off the Swamp Monster.

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