I am concerned

I have concerns.  I have a lot of concerns.  I just don't know what to do with them.  Would you like a list?

I am concerned that modern day Christianity is being reduced to a list of do's and don'ts, and who is and isn't acceptable rather sharing the love, grace and peace of Jesus.  Sometimes I think Jesus just doesn't fit into the mold of modern day Christianity at all!

The game seems to be about "winning souls" for heaven.  I don't like that game.  If the whole point in knowing Jesus is going to heaven, why do we then stick around earth for so long?  Why doesn't Jesus just snatch us up the moment we believe?  It bothers me, a lot, that the people I am around seem to focus solely on that one area.  I'm not in the club because I get a "get out of hell free" pass.  That doesn't hold a lot of appeal.  What does have a whole lot of appeal is putting the words of Jesus into action, loving others, helping the poor and needy, being a light - a ray of hope- in the darkness, those things appeal to me.  That's why I'm in "the club".

I am concerned that politicians are too focused on women's bodies and the things that women SHOULDN'T be allowed to be allowed to do with THEIR bodies.  I am really bothered by the movement to restrict women's rights, in general. It concerns me that the work of generations of women, to be treated fairly and equally, seems to be taken for granted.  There's still work to do, ladies!

I am concerned that one portion of the movement to restrict women's rights is focusing on an organization that performs many worthwhile services to women who need health care.  Many more services than the one that is garnering the most attention.

I am concerned that I am plodding through life, just merely existing.  I'm not sure what to do about that one yet.

I am concerned about our nation's fascination with guns and the ideal that guns will "protect" us.

I am concerned that we are so politically polarized as a nation, we can't even listen to each other.

I am concerned about the potential of an El Nino year and the potential rain it will bring to our very dry state.  I foresee many landslides in the winter if the rain comes down, down, down.

I am concerned about the church I attend and the viability for the future.

I am concerned with the amount of time the man with the really awful hair running for President gets on TV and in the news media.  I'm extremely concerned that people are actually taking him seriously.

Switching it up - with all due respect to Papa Bear, I am REALLY grateful he isn't alive during this Presidential election.  He would be going through the roof.  I miss him, a lot, but I don't miss some of those political discussions (and I agreed with him 95% of the time.)

I am concerned...I am concerned...I am concerned.  Thanks for listening.

Howl at the moon

Friday night my neighbor was howling at the moon. 

It seemed more than a little strange for this neighbor.  It was a little more strange when I went out to see if I could see the "blue moon" and realized it wasn't even visible from my neighbors yard.  It was still behind the hill, way out of view of the neighbor. 

Then I came across an article - little Maddy's mom had suggested that at 8:30pm on the night of the blue moon, people wishing to pay their respects to Maddy howl at the moon.  Maddy loved wolves.

I couldn't howl at the moon.  All I could do was cry.  Cry for an eight year old whose life, whose innocence was so senslessly taken away.  Cry for a Mom who was howling at the moon with gut wrenching sorrow.  Cry for a community that is in mourning, in shock and trying to answer the question, "Why?"  Cry for a 15 year old boy who is sitting in jail - for the hurts of his own that no one ever saw.

I listened to the neighbor howl at the moon, a haunting, lonely sound and no longer found it strange but healing.

The unthinkable

She was 8.  The last time she was seen she was doing what an 8 year-old should be doing, riding her scooter with her helmet on around the courtyard where she lived, waiting on her friend to come play.  A courtyard with surveillance cameras.

There's a photo, a little blurry, from that surveillance camera of her.  Helmet on to protect her if she should fall.  It didn't protect her...

This little 8 year old girl was reported missing Sunday.  According to the Police Chief she was last seen a little after 5pm.  At 6:08pm she was reported missing.  By 8pm the news was spreading the word and social media took it from there, spreading her photo far and wide.  That night and the next day people were canvassing, putting up flyer's, desperately looking for this little 8 year old girl -the police, the sheriff, the FBI, locals, friends, family.  The river, the beach, the woods, the neighborhood, the apartment complex it was searched over and over and over again.  Her disappearance soon made national headlines...or at least Yahoo news.  Where had this 8 year old gone?

On social media the comments started coming in - "She lives across the street from a homeless shelter", "has anyone checked the homeless shelter", "don't forget the homeless shelter".  The homeless shelter was searched.  She wasn't there.  (I was amazed at how quickly blame was placed on those who don't have a building they call home.  That type of reaction seems as wrong to me as racism.)

By 8pm last night, 24 hours later, the news was reporting again, this little 8 year old girl had been found, dead, in a recycling bin.  The person under arrest, a 15 year old boy who lived in the same apartment complex.  Someone she may have seen or known before.  The police are reporting that it seems she went willingly into an apartment with the boy.  The Police Chief at today's news conference, when asked, said "We don't know the exact time of death at this moment but my feeling is that she was dead before we got the call that she was missing."  I watched his face as he made that statement...there was a soul deep weariness there...the search had been lost even before it had begun.

She died at the hands of someone she probably knew.  Not someone from the homeless shelter across the street.  Not a stranger.  Not the unknown bad guy that we all fear but someone she probably knew.  The alleged bad guy is a neighbor.

Praying tonight for a Mom and a Dad and extended family who are dealing with the unthinkable.

Praying tonight for a Mom who watched her son be arrested for allegedly doing the unthinkable.

Praying for my community that is in mourning...that is angry...that has questions...that is stunned.

Praying for a boy who has been accused of the unthinkable. (That is admittedly more difficult than the other three prayers.)

Praying.

The last photo of this little 8 year old girl is a blurry surveillance photo of her riding her scooter, helmet on her head. How I wish it could have protected her.

Praying tonight for Maddy.

What's the context?*

A few weeks back I sat in on a discussion/exploration of Genesis 2.  It was led by a professor of Religious Studies at the church I currently attend.  As the discussion unfolded, I became more and more aware of how context can influence the Bible.  Understanding who the text was originally written to (and by), what was normative understanding for their culture at the time and how certain words could have different meanings are important to interpreting the text itself.  It wasn't a new thought, more a reaffirmation of conclusions I have come to on this journey of faith.  I left the discussion that night excited and inspired.  As an aside, a Bible Study group I had been a part of a few years back, took on Genesis 2 and pulled it apart FOR WEEKS.  We came away with many of the same conclusions the professor of Religious Studies had made that evening...yes!

The day or so after the shootings in Charleston, South Carolina, there was a national news agency that attempted to change the intentions of the shooter.  The original context of the incident seemed clear to me; the white culture in the United States continues to struggle with racism, with seeing others with different colored skin as lesser than or as a threat and this young man, in particular, choose to act on his fears and racism.  9 people died because of that continued struggle with racism.  Yet, because it happened in a church, this news agency kept trying to change the context...it wasn't about race, it was about belief in Jesus.  I'm not buying it.

The headlines I saw last Monday morning on my Yahoo page attempted to take the context of words spoken by the President of the United States and manipulate them to have people jump to a conclusion without reading the actual statement made by POTUS. (Yes, I have watched every episode of West Wing...multiple times.  Thanks, Netflix!)  The actual statement is bold and truthful...we have a long way to go in this country in regards to racism.

As a white, middle class woman I take a lot for granted.  I haven't experienced much in the way of discrimination.  I can't put myself in that context...but I can watch, listen, learn and change my own way of thinking.  I can speak up in my social and family circles when something is said that sets off my racism radar.  I can choose my own words carefully and wisely.

It's past time to starting looking at the context of racism in the culture of the United States.  It's time for us to re-examine our ideas about those who "look" different and stop feeding the fear that keeps racism alive.  As a wise person once said, "When you do what you always do, you get what you always get."  It's time to do something different.

I'm not going to try to change the context of the events of the last two weeks...but I am going to start to change me.

*This post was powered by my respect for Opinionated Friend and the freedom she has to express her opinions.  Many times I get stuck in fear of saying something that will offend others.  A recent discussion with OF reminded me that it's okay to say what I'm feeling and thinking...a well timed lesson indeed.  Thanks, OF! 

Earthquakes

A few weekends ago an earthquake struck the region in which I reside.  We are far enough away from the epicenter that we only felt the quake but didn't have any damage.  I woke up just before the rolling waves of the quake began.  The hanging plants were swaying and making a creaking sound, which is what I think first woke me up. As soon as I heard and felt the first wave, my whole body went on alert.  I was ready to pull the pillow over my head or jump out of bed and dash to the doorway.  It would have taken one thing falling for me to jump into action...been there, done that.

In the days since, I've become a frequent visitor to the Earthquake part of the USGS website.  This website shows all the recorded earthquakes in a 24 hour period around the world.  Folks, the earth is moving a lot.  Looking right now at the map, in the last 24 hours there have been 12 earthquakes over a 4.0. It's fascinating to see what is happening around the world that most of us never hear about...it's also fascinating to see what makes national headlines and what doesn't.  An earthquake that knocks down buildings and buckles roads get a lot more press than an earthquake in the middle of the ocean.

I've been paying attention to the national news a lot in the past few weeks.  I've seen the headlines and my heart breaks.  I feel helpless, in some ways, way to privileged in others, and I've become more and more aware of how sheltered my world is compared to others.  I work at not standing in denial of the unfair treatment of others and the realities of that unequal treatment but also struggle with a sense of what I can actually do to change the situation.  So I sit back, murmuring slightly, taking a good, hard look at my own soul, my own thoughts, my own reactions, judging my own thoughts and feelings and digging down deeper to my own, dare I say it, prejudices.  I may not be in the epicenter of this particular "earthquake" but I am feeling the rolling waves and am on alert.

There are people within my circle of acquaintances, family and friends that have said things over the years that make me cringe, blatantly racist or derogatory things said with little smiles that are just plain wrong. There are times when I could have spoken up and pointed those statements out and haven't.  There are moments when I have judged someone because of their differences from me, only later to find that I was completely and totally wrong.  I have allowed my own fears to get in the way when I have heard or seen an injustice.  I've lived in my own little world and turned a blind eye, at times, to the larger world that is filled with injustice and suffering.  It's not anything I am proud of, and I could make a million excuses for not doing, saying, seeing more of what the world really is like.  But sometimes it's just like earthquakes, among the little ripples happening all the time that I am unaware of, one suddenly jolts me out of my complacency and demands attention.

I'm paying attention to earthquakes these days...those that make the physical earth shake and those that shake my social and world views.

First Amendment & Free Speech

From Dictionary.com

First Amendment

noun

an amendment to the U.S. constitution, ratified in 1791 as part of the 

Bill of Rights, prohibiting Congress from interfering with freedom of 

religion, speech,assembly, or petition.

A straight reading of the First Amendment leads me to believe that the first amendment does NOT say people cannot be held accountable for their words by the media, NBA officials or basic humanity that says one persons ethnicity is not better than any others. 

Free speech does mean that one has to deal with the fallout of one's words when others realize how offensive, cruel, hate-filled and racist they are and CALL YOU ON THE CARPET.  It's what church circles tend to call accountability.  But then again, we humans want to say whatever we want without having to be accountable, don't we.

So tired of this s%!&. 

Dear News Media,

While I am happy for the Royal couple and the impending arrival of their first child, I really don't need to see "LIVE COVERAGE OF THE ROYAL BIRTH".  Additionally, having been in the room when Creative Guy and Adventure Boy made their way into the world, I'm pretty sure the Duchess doesn't want there to be "LIVE COVERAGE" of the royal birth either.  Just sayin'.

Happy Monday!

Tragedy in a small city

Tomorrow there will be a funeral processional made up of 200 police and other vehicles that drives some 30 miles from one small city to a larger city.  In that processional will be the families of two police officers from the small city who were just doing there jobs, a week ago Tuesday, and lost their lives in the process.  This small city was in the national headlines.  It's quite something to see your small city's name on the national headlines for something so devastating and incomprehensible.

The funeral procession will head over the big hill at the tail end of commute time, driving slowly in one lane, while the other is kept clear, thus blocking traffic for about an hour.  I am planning on getting up extra early tomorrow to take the earlier bus to work in anticipation of more congestion on the bus and on the roads.  My small sacrifice of a few more minutes of sleep is nothing in comparison to the sacrifice of lives made in the line of duty...or families who have been violently ripped apart.

It is expected that 6,000 law enforcement officers from around the country will be in attendance at the memorial service.  The state Governor will be there along with a recent American Idol Alumni that hails from Small City.  Small City has a newly created arena that can hold 4,000 people, which is where the memorial service was supposed to be held...but then larger city talked with small city and an arena that can seat up to 15,000 people was procured...30 miles away over the big hill.  They expect the arena to be full.

Now, one would think that small city would be amazed at the outpouring of respect and care being shown to the fallen officers and their families and be supportive of the move to the larger city, even though that means a drive for them and that the memorial service isn't in "their" town and yet...and yet...and yet.

Today, I'm praying for two families.  One who watched their mom and partner walk out the door going to her job as usual and another who said goodbye to their dad and husband like a normal day never knowing that would be the last hug, the last kiss, the last smile...

I'm praying for the families, pondering those who choose to put themselves in harms way for the good of the community and the inability humans have at times to see beyond themselves and what works for or pleases them as individuals.

Sometimes we really need to get over ourselves.

Letting other bloggers speak

My brain seems to get halfway through a blog post and it just quits.  I lost interest and exit blogger without posting anything.  I may have something to say, it just is on temporary hold.

In the meantime, I invite you to read these two blog posts by people who show up on my Google Reader feed all the time.

One is on the church theme from Jan at A Church For Starving Artists.

The other deals with recent news events in a way that got my attention.  It's by Adam over at AdamMclane.com.

Happy Reading!

I just can't stay silent

**This post has been sitting in my "drafts" for months now.  Most of it was written back in February.  As a Christ Follower who believes that God has given me a mind and heart and that I need to use both of them, I just can't stay silent any longer.**

My parents raised me in such a way that I never really thought that there were things that a woman couldn't do that a man could. (There are definitely things I don't WANT to do but I can still do them.  Thus, I found myself taking apart the deck, a couple of months ago, and dealing with the dead rodent under the deck.  Yuck, yuck, yuck.) Yes, Yo Momma did all the cooking but Papa Bear was very good about cleaning (his nickname is Mr. Clean).  Yo Momma stayed home with Lil Bro and I until we went to school all day and then she got a part time job.  They both did their fair share of discipline and I never once heard Papa Bear talk down to Yo Momma, like she was a second rate citizen.  I went to a church where women had leadership roles, the larger church included women in Pastoral leadership roles, and I was always, always encouraged to chase whatever dream I wanted to chase.
 
One summer I wrote a letter to the editor of the newspaper in the Bay Area.  I think they were doing a series on "Hot Topics" and I wrote in about one in particular.  My letter was published for the world to read, my thoughts in print.  My parents were proud.  Our family was out of town the weekend my letter was published.  I remember driving to the local store that carried that particular paper to buy a copy and Yo Momma and I deciding not to let the extended family that was there see the paper with my letter.  We just didn't want to get into the conversation.

The other night I was with a bunch of my young adult friends and the conversation of politics came up, as it always does.  There were two in the room of eight that don't necessarily agree with the rest of us.  Those conversations, I always feel like we're walking such a fine line between listening to the other opinion and disrespect.  I usually try to avoid the conversations as much as possible.  I have opinions, I have convictions, I just don't want to get into the conversation.

I've been listening to conversations in which the rights of women are seemingly being chipped away, one by one.  I feel like this country is taking huge leaps backwards when it comes to the equality of women.  I don't want to get into the conversations...I cannot stay silent any longer.

• I am tired of women continuing to be belittled, criticized and harangued for living their lives in the best way they see fit.   Whether that be a stay-at-home-mom, a working mom, a single mom, a single woman, I'm tired of women having to defend their life decisions.
• I'm tired of the conversation in churches that continues to tell women that they should be silent or that they are just baby machines and should know their place.  
• I'm tired of the conversation that says that women should subject themselves to whatever a man requires of them, because of that verse in the Bible that says a woman should "submit" to her husband.  Why don't we focus on the verses that follow as much?  The one's about men loving their wives as Christ loved the church.
• I'm tired of the double standard that says men can have sex with multiple women, but a woman who has sex with more than one man is a whore.  
• I'm tired of women being denied birth control because of their religious affiliations or who they work for.  
• I'm tired of the discussion about abortion, especially in the church, when: A.) there is strong resistant to educating people on how to use or allowing access to birth control; B.) we continue to criticize and demean women and their families who work hard and still struggle to put food on the table and need a little help to make it through life; C.) there are children in our foster care system that are desperate for families to shower them love and attention, right now.  Where are the people in the church for those children? (and I know some amazing church people who ARE there for kids in the foster care system and are walking their talk)  D.) We make it so hard and expensive to adopt children.
• I'm tired of the line of rhetoric that says all people on welfare are druggies or low-life's or not working hard.  It's simply not true.
• I'm tired of being told that my voice really shouldn't be heard in the church because of my gender.  As I told a friend recently, I didn't choose to be in church leadership, God CALLED me to church leadership.  Time after time, God put me in positions of leadership in the church, even when I was resisting,  If you want to argue, argue with God, stop talking to me.
• I'm tired of women being rated as second class citizens who can't make wise decisions and choices because they are missing an appendage.  
• I'm tired of women (and men) who have been violated physically, emotionally and mentally by rape, being violated, yet again, by people running for a political office.   

Actually, when it comes right down to it, I'm tired of the party lines.  I'm tired of hearing how one side is right and the other side is wrong..and I mean that about both of the top political parties.  It seems to me the people whom the conversations focused on are the one's who are the losers across the board...because who is actually listening to them?

I am not my parents

I grew up (and still live) in a small town.  Yo Momma moved to this small town with her parents when she was 6 or so.  Papa Bear moved to the small town when he was 28, started teaching and quickly became known.  I grew up being known as "Brittany, the daughter of...".  Though I was the first child, I was not the most popular child.  Soon I became known as "Brittany, the sister of...".  That's what happens when you are a shy person, not good at sports in this small town.

Growing up in this small town I never expected to be known for myself, except around my friends.  I told myself it didn't matter but it did.  I told myself that I was okay being known as the daughter or sister of...but there were times when it got old.  Really old.  Then, one day it changed. 

I remember the day that Papa Bear came home and looked at me and said "It happened.  I introduced myself to someone and they said 'You're Brittany's Dad!' ".  There was a poetic justice in that and freedom.  I was no longer just someones daughter or sister, I was me.  The best thing, was that I wasn't riding the coat tails of my family members, I had struck out on my own and was just me.

I was reading an blog post today about someone who is in the spotlight a lot because of their last name.  It's a famous last name because of this person's Dad.  The Dad is respected, well liked and when The Dad speaks, people listen.  The child has ridden The Dad's coat tails a bit to get where they are and is trying to emulate The Dad but it's not working.  The child is not The Dad and though the media keeps trying to make the child, The Dad, more and more it's clear, the child is really not The Dad.

That whole thing started me thinking about those in the media who have been thrown into the spotlight because of their famous parents.  In a way, it doesn't seem fair that we expect the child of the famous parents to be just as eloquent or charismatic or good as the parent.  In another way, it seems really awful when the child tries to work off of their famous name to become famous themselves.  Especially as time goes on and it becomes crystal clear that the child isn't as lovable as the parents, yet they continually try to work off that name or are given more opportunities to speak out because of their famous parents name.  The child is not the parents.

If people looked at Papa Bear, who was the sports guy and a PE teacher, and thought "gosh, his children will be extremely fit and athletic people", well they would be right with one of those children but not the other.  I am not my Dad.  If people looked at Yo Momma, the outgoing people person, and thought "gosh, her children must be outgoing people as well", well, again, they would be right with one of those children but not the other.  I am not my Mom. 

I am the introverted, curvy (ha!), non-athletic, perfectly me child of my parents but I am not my parents.  I don't always think like them, I don't always agree with them and I am most definitely not them.  I have their last name but I am me.  I don't want to be "famous in a small town" because of my last name but because of who I am, what I have accomplished and what I am good at.  Actually, I don't really want to be famous at all, that's a lot of pressure.  I just want to be me.  

Headline

The text message said "guilty".
The newspaper said "guilty".
My heart said "sad".
Praying for him.
Praying for them, the one's who "won", if you can truly win in this situation, but have lost so much.
Praying for them, the one's who have lost once and have now lost again.
Praying for them, the one's who had to make the decision.
Praying for a broken world.
Just praying.

Stream of thoughts...

I need a job.  2nd interview went OK.  I wasn't enthused, it was easy to see.  While I could do the job, I wouldn't love it and that makes it a dilemma.  Not that one always has to love their job but...

Anyway,  I applied to two other places this week.  One is with a local school (which I would LOVE!!  Almost afraid to say how much I would LOVE to work for the local schools).  The other is at Costco.  Who knows.  At least applications are going in.  A job coming back to me would be lovely.

I'm painting a bedroom over at G.G's house.  It's slow going, but it will get done.

I realized today that I'm struggling with living at my parents house.  I LOVE them.  Really, really do.  They have been fantastic.  Yet looking at my space I realize that everything I own is either in a box in the garage or shoved into this room.  I want to organize and make things look good but there's no place to put anything and so it all just gets plunked down wherever there is room...which there isn't much of these days!  Things will work out, just needed to whine a little bit.

Had lunch with K and Adventure Boy today.  He was full of questions.  "What does 'vocational' mean?  Where is heaven?  What does 'whatever' mean?"  There was another word he asked about but I can't remember what it was at this moment.  He did say that he thinks heaven is a town...in Jesus' heart.  His brain is working on overload!

This morning I woke up to the news of the protesters/riot/college students at Penn State having their say.  I am gonna be 100% honest, I'm dismayed by the whole thing.  As one who did Safe Church/Safe Child training on preventing child abuse in churches, it completely amazes me that three men in positions of leadership seemingly did little to nothing to stop an abuser.  Especially if one of the men actually did walk in on an incident and turned around and walked away as has been reported.  The mama bear in me just can't fathom it.  I realize I'm getting everything through the media and there could be incorrect information but something tells me there is probably a lot more to the story.  This could get uglier.  One statement that caught me this morning, again, on the news, was from a reporter in the throng of the protesters saying "not all Penn State students are angry about the coach's firing, but the one's we talked to wouldn't on camera for fear of retaliation by other students."  What?  There's something majorly wrong here.

Okay, now that I'm all fired up, I'm gonna go eat dinner.  One GREAT thing about living at home...Yo Momma makes dinner.  :)

Oops!  I forgot one thing!  I'm usually a Star$ girl.  However, on the way home today Star$ was on the left hand side of the road and Peet's on the right.  I figured I could deal with Peet's today...just in a coffee mood.  I think I have a new favorite coffee.  Caramel Pecan Mocha.  Oo-de-lally!  That was goooooood.

Which reminds me...of one of my favorite Disney movies...I think it's a movie night.

It's the end of the world as we know it...or is it?

It's Saturday May 21st, 2011.  2pm.  If I were to believe a certain individual who has been in the news lately, in approximately 4 hours (my time) Jesus will be coming back...or a major earthquake will happen which will signal the beginning of Jesus coming back.  Haven't heard of any major earthquakes anywhere in the world today (and according to my source, earthquakes were to start at 6pm everywhere in the world!) so I'm gonna keep doing what I've been doing today:  reading a little, watching home improvement shows on TV, laundry and keeping the massive alligator lizard from getting inside the house. 

If, however, this earthquake does happen and I get to meet Jesus face to face today, well, let it be known that my last meal was Taco Work chips and Diet Pepsi.  :)

Praying and watching

It is always a shock to wake up to news of overnight disasters, to see footage of disaster being played out across the ocean.  Living in California, I'm familiar with earthquakes but 8.9 seems unimaginable.  The fact that Japan has had aftershocks as large as the "big" earthquake we experienced in my neck of the woods 21 years (7.1) brings back many memories of fear and a desperate prayers for the ground would just stop shaking.  I'm praying for the people in Japan that have found their lives upended today.

The news was full of Tsunami warnings here, which always brings to mind the Tsunami of 2006 in Indonesia.  Our waves didn't look that much different from normal waves but there were those couple of instances when the water receded farther than normal.  The video below is a time-lapse video of a local beach.  As I watched the news this morning, one of the surfers in the water just started walking back to shore...from a place that he shouldn't have been able to touch the ground.  It was enough to get me running to the next room to show Papa Bear the images on TV.  Nature is awe-inspiring...and fierce.  (Sorry for the commercial before the video)

In the news

When I was going into high school, I went to camp with a friend. The camp took us to some caverns nearby and we went exploring. I'd been in caves before but never like this. We had jumpsuits, headlamps and we were crawling through the cave. At one point I was overwhelmed with the feeling of not being able to get back out. I can still feel the panic coursing through my body.

Today is September 26th. On August 22nd thirty-three miners in Chile were trapped in a copper and gold mine. The news article I read today said that it will likely take until November for the miners to all be rescued. NOVEMBER!!! I can't imagine what those miners are going through.

Praying today that the rescue work will go quickly and smoothly and that the miners and their families will be reunited sooner than November!