First Amendment & Free Speech

From Dictionary.com

First Amendment

noun

an amendment to the U.S. constitution, ratified in 1791 as part of the 

Bill of Rights, prohibiting Congress from interfering with freedom of 

religion, speech,assembly, or petition.

A straight reading of the First Amendment leads me to believe that the first amendment does NOT say people cannot be held accountable for their words by the media, NBA officials or basic humanity that says one persons ethnicity is not better than any others. 

Free speech does mean that one has to deal with the fallout of one's words when others realize how offensive, cruel, hate-filled and racist they are and CALL YOU ON THE CARPET.  It's what church circles tend to call accountability.  But then again, we humans want to say whatever we want without having to be accountable, don't we.

So tired of this s%!&. 

Same statement, different venue

"We want new people!  We want to reach a younger audience!  We will fight change tooth and nail!  The new people must come in and like to do things the same way we have since the beginning of time!'

Having spent most of my working years in a church setting, I was under the illusion that this type of thinking occurred mostly in churches.  It doesn't.

One of the last times I heard Youth Specialties co-Founder Mike Yaconelli talk, he made the statement "When you do what you always do, you get what you always get."  My notes from that talk wound up on a bulletin board next to my desk and I read that statement over and over and over again.  It was hard to implement change, simply because it was easier to just keep doing what I had been doing.  Changes did happen, though, because I got tired of getting what I always got.

Fast forward years and I'm in a different job, no longer in full-time ministry (though I am going to be volunteering on a regular basis in someone else's youth group...eek!) and working with some who have been asked to think outside the box.  Guess what?  The people who have been in the game a long time don't want no stinkin' change.  Just come in and do things like they have always been done.  It's worked for us before, it will work again.  They say they want to attract younger people but...

The worse part?  Grown-ups who act like teenagers but say they are grown-ups.  I've worked with teenagers...I like them better than faux grown-ups.

There's a country song playing in my head right now...anyone want to take a guess as to what it is?  =)

Today

Today I missed the early commuter bus today by 30 seconds because:

1. I am a girl.
2. I got up 5 minutes late.
3. I could not decide what to wear.
4. Decided what to wear and then realized I had a "tan" line.  Changed mind on top.
5. Put on new top.
6. Went to leave and realized the fog was in.
7. Went back for a sweater.
8. I do not have a navy blue nor do I have an off white sweater.
9. Had an off white sweater that I wore three times and decided it was awful.
10. Donated it to Goodwill.
11. It's cold, I need a sweater.
12. Dilemma ensued.
13. Wearing white and off-white unsettles me.
14. Finally tore a white sweater off the hanger and refused to look in the mirror.
15. Raced out the door, sailed through the various lights until that one light.
16. Watched the bus turn up the street while sitting at that one light that would.not.turn.green.
17. Started writing a letter to the city about that stupid light in my head.
18. Light turned green.
19. Pushed the van ahead of me to park and ride.
20. Jumped out of car.
21. Watched bus pull away.
22. Sometimes it is a pain to be a girl.

Speaking for God

I don't like labels.  I use labels, I am labeled, I don't like labels.  Labels do not tell the true story of who I am, who others are.  It's just a name, a way to group people, things, together to help our human brains make sense of the world around us.

Still, there are labels attached to me.  One of those labels is "Christian", though I prefer the label "Christ Follower".  Still, in that label there is a connotation that I need to recognize and take seriously.  That label says I follow Jesus, I believe in God and to some extent it says my life, my actions, my words represent God and Jesus.  I am still a flawed human being.  My words, my actions, my life don't always reflect the God and Jesus I follow.  I mess up regularly.  I am not God.  I am not Jesus.  Yet with my life, my words, my actions I speak for God.

I am tired of hearing others with the label Christian stand up after horrific events happen in the world and say things such as "God is pouring out judgment" or "It's because we've taken God out of our society" or "God is rejoicing".  I am tired of these people being the ones I see on my homepage when I open my web browser.

I am tired of hearing about God's judgment and how awful we are and how we are all turning our backs on God from people "in the know" (IMHO, that means they have access to the media and they use it).  I am tired of the condemnation and the lack of compassion or LOVE.  I am tired of Christians speaking for God when all they can say is "You are bad.  You are awful."  T.I.R.E.D.

That rhetoric is turning people away from God.  Turning them away from a God that, I believe, grieves alongside the mothers and father and brothers and sisters and grandparents and friends.  Saying "You turned your back, now deal with the consequences" is heartless and (yep, here comes my judgment) says a lot about the heart of the person speaking.

Absolutely, we live in a fallen world.  Crap happens, it is horrific and many times the answers to the question "why" are so hard to find, if we find them at all.  Yet into that fallen, broken world God sent Jesus.  God sent Jesus into the world to be love.  To be hope.  To bring a message of love and hope.  God hasn't given up on the world.

So, I am going to speak for God right now.  To the families, to the community, to the nation, in this most recent horrific nightmare please hear from this broken, human woman with the label Christ Follower, the questions are large and looming and though it may seem like God does not care, God does care.  God is near and grieving along with you.  I don't know why God didn't stop it.  There are many times when I don't understand God but I do know this, the God I follow loves you and hurts with you.

Monday evening dots of randomness

• Little Miss P turned three this past weekend.  Of course Auntie B had to make cupcakes and cake pops.  She had the best look on her face as people were singing "Happy Birthday" to her.  She had a good day and ate three fishy cupcakes.  Hard to believe it's been three years since she was born!
• I am very, very grateful for Papa Bear.  Last night when I arrived home after the drive from Tahoe, I wished Papa Bear was home as the rat trap had been activated.  This evening as I dealt with the dead rodent, I was really grateful that Papa Bear usually deals with this stuff.  The rat trap will go un-baited until he gets home.
• There are certain things that get me riled up.  Men denying the validity of rape turns out to be one issue.  I have spent the whole day stewing and being pissed off about the whole "legitimacy of rape" comment by a certain Missouri Representative.  I hope the women of Missouri wake up and refuse to vote this man into office.
• Monday night TV really stinks.  I refuse to watch Bachelor Pad, The Closer went off the air and NCIS re-runs don't run on Monday nights because of WWE.  Maybe I should just go to bed.
• One of the office coordinators in my office building came into my office last week and asked for change.  Her car was running on fumes, she had no more money in the bank and was just trying to get home from work (there's so much more to this story).  I gave her $5 and I thought she was going to cry.  Later, talking with Papa Bear, it occurred to me that when you have nothing, you don't need much to be grateful or happy.  I think that's a lesson that those in political power need to learn.
• This morning as I was waiting for the bus, there was a college student doing a practice run before school starts on Wednesday.  I made sure to tell him not to get on the wrong bus and how to know which one was the right bus.  I will NOT be one of those bus people who don't help out newbies!
• And that ends the dots of randomness this Monday evening.  Have a good week!

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• I thought I was done...Tonight I declare war on ants.  The swarm that made it's presence known in the kitchen in less than an hour has been eliminated.  The dishes are washed, there is no food on the counter and honest to goodness I will kill every single ant that I see.  That is all

A few notes...

Dear Clothing Manufacturers,

We "Plus-size" women (oh how I despise that name) have a lot of body issues and you aren't helping.  Could we please, PLEASE have t-shirts with sleeves.  Not those little cap sleeves things that leave the whole underarm just swinging away in the breeze, but a real sleeve, something that covers about 3 inches more arm.  That would be lovely.  While we're at it, could you start making skirts that cover below the knee too?  Thanks.


Dear Body of Mine,

I am so sorry for those infections.  Really.  I am not a fan of them either.  Must you now punish me by creating a potential embarrassment every single time I sneeze?



Dear Drivers on the Road,

When the little blue and red twirly lights are coming at you on the OPPOSITE side of the four lane freeway with a cement barrier in between us and them, there is NO need for you to SLAM ON THE BRAKES!  They are not after you.  DRIVE YOUR CAR!!!

Another thing, when the road is windy and you go 15 miles under the speed limit and there are two lanes traveling in the same direction, the best way to end road rage or people cutting you off is to get out of the left lane and allow faster traffic to pass you, even if it means you have to stay behind the truck for 1/2 a mile.  


Dear Radio Executives,

I am tired of listening to the same songs every two hours.  Variety is good.  Older songs are good.  Songs that don't sound like every.single.other.song on the radio are good too.  Unless you really just want me to listen to my iPod and Audiobooks.  That works for me.

Dear Car Stalker,

You are the best.  My life is much happier with you in it.

Sincerely,
Brittany

It's just a word...that really bugs me

There's a word that has been making a resurgence around me lately and it's bugging me.  It's bugging me because it's been used to demean a certain group of people for years.  I am not nearly as eloquent as some other bloggers that I have read that have written about it, so I'm going to refer you to their sites in a second.  Here's what I will say though:  I've used words that are socially incorrect, politically incorrect before and have used this word as well.  Sometimes they are words that are a part of one culture I am involved with but not another and when used in the alternate cultures, I realize how hurtful, demeaning and inappropriate they are.  Some people will say "It's just a word."  You are correct.  It's how we intend the word to be received that makes the word harmful.  To that end it is my wish that we would stop using the "R" word.  As in a word that has been used in the past to describe people with Down Syndrome.

I can't fully articulate why this particular word bugs me, it really does have to do with why we use the word and the implications that we mean in using the word, so I'm going to stop with these few thoughts.  For further thoughts on the use of the "R" word, I refer you to Sarahlynn and Amy.**  Both women have daughters with Down Syndrome and have written about this in the past.

**Just realized that I sent you to Amy's blog but the post was written by a guest blogger, Margot Starbuck.  Still, I highly recommend Amy's blog for more thoughts on Down Syndrome.

What makes something Patriotic?

Merriam-Webster's Online Dictionary describes Patriotism as "love for or devotion to one's country".  I can go along with that.  When I think of people who are Patriotic, I think of people who appreciate the country in which they reside or were born, find favor in aspects of that country, are loyal to that country...I'm sure I could come up with more but my brain is racing ahead.

So, today, when in my inbox at work I get the "Top 20 Patriotic Worship Songs", I was not surprised to see the usual list of "America the Beautiful, My Country Tis of Thee, The Star Spangled Banner" and three others that I would classify as Patriotic.  That leaves 14 others in question.

Now, if Patriotism was described as love for or devotion to God, well then the rest of those songs I would consider to be Patriotic.  But that's that the definition of the word.  So how does this company justify listing 14 songs in the top "20" Patriotic song list?  I think they were reaching.  Which bugs me in this church culture that "wars" over things like Worship Songs vs. Hymns.  Really?  We need a list of "Patriotic" Praise songs that really aren't?  Just when I thought we were getting to a more level playing field in choices of music styles in churches. *Sigh*

I don't find anything wrong with Patriotism.  I think allegiance to one's country can be a good thing, I love going to the 4th of July fireworks show in Tahoe and hearing God Bless the USA by Lee Greenwood or America the Beautiful by Ray Charles as the fireworks burst over the lake.  Moves me to tears every time.  I feel very patriotic then.  I appreciate the idea of our government, though I'm not so happy with the way things are going right now.  I appreciate that I live in a country where I am free to worship in the church/religion of my choice.  I don't, however, equate Patriotism as my belief in God.  I am a Christ Follower, that's where my devotion and love for God comes in, not in my devotion or love for my country.  To me, those don't walk hand in hand.

This Sunday the kids will be singing "God Bless America" in church.  I've struggled for awhile with singing those kinds of songs in the worship service (for reasons that are for another blog post for another time), but this Sunday the decision wasn't mine to make and that is fine with me! 

Sunday morning, we'll be singing songs of allegiance to God...and not one of them is on that "Top 20" list.

Take four

Yesterday my AC adapter/power cord for the laptop died.  The little blue light on the adapter says it's charging but my computer says no it's not.  Sigh.

This has been an ongoing saga.  Power cord number one died suddenly.  I emailed the company, they sent out a replacement.  It worked for about a year.  It was on the 3rd or 4th Mississippi trip that cord number 2 died.  Just up and died.  Would not charge the computer at all.  I gave up on the company cords and went for the universal power cord.  It was a huge investment...huge!  But the power cord has lasted...ah yes, now I remember.  It's been 3 power cords but three "tips" for the universal power cord.  The first tip and the floor had a "falling out".  The computer slid off the couch right onto the power cord tip.  Nice.  Which is when I found out one can buy replacement tips for universal cords.  In my wisdom I bought two.  Just recently, after retrieving the computer from the repair shop, I realized that tip number 2 had mysteriously been swapped out by said repair shop...or the power cord was...now that might make the story change a bit here...anyway, I was grateful that I had thought to buy an extra replacement tip.  So it was on tip three...and then the power cord died yesterday.  Which, now that I think about it, may not even be my power cord but someone else's...naaahhhh it had all the same scratches on it, just the wrong tip.

So here I am, with power cord number four.  I am happy to report, though, that in cleaning off my desk at work, I found a coupon for $15 off a purchase of $75 or more and so I saved money on this power cord...yes they are that expensive.  I don't want to have to purchase number 5.

For the six that I know***

They say that it's insulting.
They say that they won't sign the paper.
They say that too many people stand accused falsely.
They say that it will never happen here.
They say that we shouldn't judge.
They say...
They say...

I say six.
Six people.
Six innocent people.
Six people unable to defend themselves.
Six people who weren't lying...who aren't lying
Six people that I know.
Six people.

There are more.
The more remain silent.
To protect themselves,
from those that say
it doesn't happen.

To those that say...
I have news.
It happens.
It's happened.
It's true.
I have a question...
What's more insulting
signing a paper that says it happens,
we will believe,
we will do our best to protect
or not believing the ones who were innocent,
who are not lying 
who were forever changed,

by something they didn't want
and couldn't stop?

I find that insulting.
The six would find that insulting...
and possibly feel assaulted...again.

***and for the ones that I don't know of, who have remain silent, who haven't yet shared.  I believe you.

Okay God,

How much more? I've asked that question of you for months now. It seems like a modern-day Job story is being written and the characters in this story are tired, done. They've been beat-up, overwhelmed, stripped bare and still there's more. It's time to start a new chapter...the chapter where things start looking better, where redemption is around the corner, where life begins to feel happy again.

The chapter that started today is just ugly and painful. Really, really painful. But then you were there, you heard the cries of anguish and despair. You listened to those little girls cry out in grief. You saw it all. I believe you are crying too. That's what keeps drawing me back to you, to my belief in your sovereignty. I don't think you would let any of them really go through this alone. I know that you were in that room, that you were crying too. It doesn't stop me from asking though...haven't they suffered enough?

I'm pleading, God, on their behalf, they have had enough. They need relief, a break, some joy, something good to happen, something miraculous (you know what I'm talking about). They need good news, great news even. Tonight, God, listen to the cries of those little girls, comfort their broken hearts, begin to bring healing to them and their momma. And God, please, enough is enough...bring them hope and joy again.

Things going through my mind today

• Friends are good. Especially friends who don't mind if the lava cake one bakes is more lava-y than cake.
• Speaking of cakes...I watch those TV shows that have the cake dudes on them. I like them but something is bugging me. Do rice crispy treats count as cake? I see an awful lot of "cakes" made out of rice crispy treats. I get that it's a whole art form thing and that cake can't do some of the things they want, but does that make it cake or a big marshmallow cereal treat?
• One thing that always bugs me about the Olympics is the constant commentary from the so-called experts. Just hush already!!!!
• Speaking of the Olympics. Friday night we had an Olympic opening ceremony party with the young adult cake. I made cupcake torches, cake in ice cream cones. They kind of spilled over the edges and weren't perfect, which seemed fitting as things had gotten off to a less than stellar start to the Olympics. Then there was the mechanical failure with lighting the Olympic flame and, well, my torch cupcakes seemed pretty appropriate!
• I've been working on choosing music for Sunday mornings worship weeks in advance. We have a huge list of songs to choose from and I try not to repeat songs too often. I'm often amazed at how God weaves the songs together, even when I'm not fully aware of what's happening. Tonight we rehearsed for next Sunday. The first set of songs weave together so well, I can't believe it. Not just in the matter of the key and tempo but in theme. If it goes along well with the sermon on Sunday, well then God really is awesome! :)
• Many times Monday night rehearsals are a kind of therapy for me. Tonight especially. Music soothes my soul.
• I've been a church-girl my whole life but lately I'm really struggling with church. Lots of emotions and thoughts twirling through my head and many reasons for that struggle. Not sure I'm ready to share just needed to write those words down.
• Going back to Mississippi in 36 days. YES!!!!!
• There are a stack of books by my bed that I want to read. None of them, however are the fluff kind of book that my mind can handle. Lots of big thinking books, nothing fluffy. Bummer.
• Not that I should be reading books right now anyway! Time for bed. Nighty-night.
  

Not the same kind of Christian

It's been almost a week since the earthquake hit Haiti and Mr. Robertson made his oh-so-lovely (she says with sarcasm dripping from her lips) statement. I don't know what direct line he has to God but I don't EVER want to pick up that phone. I'm thinking of creating a bumper sticker that says "Pat Robertson doesn't speak for me". There are bloggers that have been more eloquent on the subject, so I direct you to them...especially SarahLynn's blog (there are some sponsors listed there). Suffice it to say, my beliefs don't line up with his...and that's WAY okay with me!

Don Miller (includes links to several others)

Songbird

Wrap-up of the day

It's really early in the morning or late at night, depending on how you look at it. I've been away from the hotel a full 15 hours. There was a lot packed into that time. Here's just a glimpse:

• Heard from 3 young people who have started groups that give to others or are taking a stand on issues. Very, very impressive, enlightening, encouraging and cool. Just cool.
• Worshipped with a children's choir from Africa. If I can get the video, church on Sunday will be worshipping with them as well. I'm making an executive decision as the worship leader...so there.
• Watched an amazing performer bring a story to life that left the whole room in tears. And that was all within two hours.
• Had lunch at the ESPNzone and watched the 49ers lose in the last seconds of the game...but had a yummy salad.
• Participated in a workshop focusing on how we connect with God throughout the day in the moments that we have...good stuff. Did you know that chocolate and prayer go together? They do.
• Enjoyed a caramel frappacino that tasted like caramel corn. Yum.
• Listened to a discussion about youth revolutionizing the world. It was co-led by a guy who was an atheist, has come to Christianity while working in DC. He has worked for some pretty high mucky-mucks including the Obama campaign. There are a lot of things that I still need to review from that session. I thought I was going to walk away from the conference without buying any cd's or DVD's...not gonna happen.
• Had dinner with other Presbyterian Youth Workers, including someone that I had gone to a class with a couple year ago. Good conversation and I came away with some new resources, plus after the expensive meals in this town, it was nice to have a free dinner! Thanks PC(USA)!
• Tonight we heard from the woman the Lifetime movie, Homeless to Harvard, was based on. I appreciated hearing her perspective on life...it made me think about what I take for granted and what I assume.
• And then, Jon-boy and I hung out and listened to Todd T.'s favorite band in the whole wide world...Lost and Found. Slinky! We also laughed until we couldn't breathe with the Skit Guys. A long but good day.

I've got a bunch of questions running through my head but I also have this little rant that must come out right now. Walking by the hand-out table, where all the extra hand-outs from the workshops wind up, I found this beauty called the Pure Freedom Fashion Challenge. I read through it, it makes sense. I don't like seeing bra straps, shorts that are to short, pants that are too low, I get it. However, it's really frustrating to hear people say "the youth shouldn't wear x, y or z" and then turn around to see the youth workers wearing x, y and z. Where do we think they get it from? It's just annoying. All weekend I've been hearing "youth look up to you!"...so why don't we get that they look at everything? Okay, rant over for now. It's time to sleep! More tomorrow!

Musically speaking

NOTE: This started off as a rant and God turned it into something more constructive. Thanks, God.

I am a music person. I like to listen to music, I like to play music, I like to sing. It runs in the family. Yo Momma and G.G. are very musically talented as well. And Lil Bro has been known to hum a tune or two as well.

Lately, the music that I listen to has been limited. My in-dash CD player has eaten CD's and refuses to A.) play them or B.) spit them back out. Which leaves me with the radio or I-pod. The I-pod FM adapter has issues. If I hit any bumps on the road it cuts the power out, which cuts the I-pod off. Our roads are bumpy, thus, I tend to not use the I-pod very much which leaves the radio. In all the driving I've been doing the last month I've come to one definite conclusion about the choice of music on the radio...it stinks.

Yesterday, as the youth and I were traveling back home from SF, we switched between two radio stations and realized that we were hearing the same songs over and over and over again. I know, it's nothing new, it's been like this for ages, but it just bugged me anew. Why can't there be more variety? I love the radio stations that are playing "oldies" (aka 80's music. It's not that old and no comments about being in denial, people.) but they only play those songs for an hour and then it's back to the same 15 songs. Really? There are only 15 songs worth playing? I don't believe it.

It gets even worse because I refuse to listen to some songs on the radio, so then I'm switching stations all the time and really hearing those same 15 songs again and again and again. Radio is not my friend right now.

That is where this rant was originally gonna end. But then God reminded me of music that is good. Music that I love. If I could make my own radio station, I would play songs by this guy. This is Jared. He's 17. He has written, recorded, produced and distributed 4 CD's, the latest being this one:
It's available on I-Tunes, and on his website...all for free. My absolute favorite song on the CD is God Speak. Give it a listen! Jared is amazing and is a blessing to those of us who know him. God has seriously blessed him with a heart for songwriting and worship leading. One of these days I'm gonna say "I knew him when...". Way to go J-Rad!

Masquerade

To unbloggable person,

I listened. I didn't want to, but I listened. I tried to ignore your words. I tried to focus on something else. I texted a friend, I thought about tomorrow but still, I listened. I heard the words you were saying. I heard the condemnation. I saw the verbal finger wagging. I know what you were attempting to communicate. And I reacted. I felt the indignation rise up in my throat like bile that just has to erupt. I reacted. My teeth and jaw clenched tightly. My hands curled into fists. I reacted. My heart felt like it hardened, I saw the crap meter in my head register high.

Because I know the truth. I know the truth. The verbal finger that was wagging at me had four more pointing directly at you. Trying to remove the plank from my eye, you completely missed the TREE in yours. I know the truth and I'm so stinkin' tired of listening to the words that fall from your lips with such ease. Words that you don't really mean, words that barely hold back contempt for any that don't follow exactly what you say to do. I'm tired of listening to lies veiled as truth because I know the truth.

I may have a plank that needs to be worked on, but I can still see around it. The veil was lifted from my eyes a long, long time ago. The masquerade has long been over. I listened but I wonder, were you listening to yourself?

I know, right?

Today's rant comes courtesy of this inane saying that's taking over the world. I give you *I know, right?* Opinionated Friend started using this phrase and was on the receiving end of my very loving, caring request to STOP SAYING THAT!!! She was kind enough to agree that it's an annoying phrase used by people around her that she has picked up on. Another friend uses it all the time as well, but I'm not close enough to her to tell her to KNOCK IT OFF!!!! (I do realize that using all capital letters means I'm screaming. I'm screaming.)

When I say the phrase is taking over the world, I mean it. While in Iowa, Yo Momma and I went to lunch. We were seated and the waitress came over to take our order. She was a cheerful person who was very helpful there was just one problem, she used this phrase every other sentence. Not kidding. The phrase that I thought was just used in California has made it to Iowa. It's spreading!

Then yesterday R-girl, Blaise and I went to see this movie:
It was good, fun and just as satisfying as the first movie. I recommend it for a laugh and I'm not a Ben Stiller fan so that's saying something...but about a third of the way through one of the people in the movie says IT, that phrase that makes my ears hurt, *I know, right?*. STOP THE INSANITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Make it stop, make it stop, for the love of all that's holy, make it stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thus ends today's rant.

A tale of a congressman

I've been home a full 24 hours now after 48 hours of traveling. Actually, if I'm going to do the math correctly it was more like 54 hours of traveling. I'm just going to say it out loud (or in writing), I'm not a fan of Continental right now. Granted the weather problems were legitimate but the complete lack of communication and misinformation that we were given was really very frustrating. My sense of humor was pretty much gone by the time we got home. But I must tell you a tale, my dear blog reading friends, of a Congressman from Texas (every time I write the word Texas I hear William Shatner in the movie Miss Congeniality).


Sunday night Continental paid for our overnight stay in Houston. 2 of us got to leave in the morning but for 4 of us our flights didn't leave until after 5pm Monday. That meant we had the whole day to, well, do something with. After an early morning and a frustrating day in the airport, none of us was moving too quickly and our window of time to explore Houston went away quickly...plus we really wanted to spend a whole lot of money on a taxi and the airport is out in the boondocks, which makes sense because it is Texas.


After spending most of the morning in the hotel lobby, we boarded the shuttle van and headed to the airport where food and bookstores were. We had our boarding passes, which meant we went directly to the security line, where I proceeded to get behind a man with many, many items going through x-ray. I had already put all my stuff in bin when I realized I should have changed lanes. The guy in front of me had an ice chest...yes, I said an ice chest, filled with dry ice and ice cream. He loudly proclaimed "It's solid as a rock! Honest!" When the checkpoint guards called over another guard the guy made the same proclamation and then said these fateful words "I'm heading to Washington DC. I'm a Congressman." Now, I was willing to give this guy a break. I want to see the good in people and usually make excuses for them but when those words were uttered, my cynical side took over and all I could see was a politician.


Mr. Congressman-from-right-here repeated himself several times, "I'm a congressman from right here." Once for the brisket, a couple times for the ice cream and again for the bottle of BBQ sauce in his carry-on, which when questioned about he proclaimed "Its only 3.4oz." and when he was told it was supposed to be less than 3oz he then said "I told her to only fill the bottle half full." At this point alarm bells are screaming in my head, screaming! But I will get to that in a minute. They let the ice cream slide but that bottle of BBQ sauce raised eyebrows. As he continued through the checkpoint, he kept saying to all of the security people (and to me) "I'm a Congressman, I'm a Congressman from right here."


Mr. Congressman-from-right-here finally went through x-ray along with all his stuff. I was pushing my things down the line, just wanting to get through security to the Starbucks that I knew was on the other side and desperately trying not to lose my cool on Mr. Congressman-from-right-here when one of the checkpoint guards caught my eye. Without skipping a beat the checkpoint guard looked at Mr. Congressman-from-right-here, looked back at me and said, "And those are our tax dollars at work." HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! I could not stop laughing. Loudly, without a care that Mr. Congressman-from-right-here was standing on the other side gathering his stuff together. That one comment made my day.

They did pull his bag aside and they were checking through it. The last I saw Mr. Congressman-from-right-here was using his politician charm on the seriously not amused or interested checkpoint guard.


For the record, I think the checkpoint guards should have confiscated that Blue Bell Ice Cream, right then and there. I know it was Blue Bell Ice Cream because Mr. Congressman-from-right-here said it over and over and over again. Just like he told anyone who would listen that it was for his daughter. I didn't care but he kept telling me. No way, no how should that have gotten through. They should have kept it for themselves. But seriously, this Congressman was clearly not above using his status to get through the system. A system set in place to "protect us" (we've been on Orange alert for years now), to protect the city that he was flying into (Hello, 9-11, planes crashing into the Pentagon, one intended for the White House, ringing any bells?) and a system that should be equal for all people, no matter who they are or what they do.

I met a Texas Congressman in the Houston airport...and I wasn't impressed.

Before you hit forward...

I love email. It makes my life so much happier to be able to communicate via email rather than talking on the telephone. I don't, however, appreciate the email forwards.

There are certain people in my life that deluge my inbox with forwards about trivial stuff all.the.time. Love the people, don't love the forwards. Chain mail forwards are awful and I usually hit delete without reading them. Guess I'm gonna have bad luck for the next bazillion years. The ones that really drive me crazy, though, are the ones that are supposedly to "help you" but really are meant to scare people. Watch out when leaving the mall! Don't roll down your car window! The cops aren't really the cops! Yeah, don't really love those. Those are usually sent by women to other women because, well, we fall for these things.

My best Internet friends to help decipher fact from fiction are two sites, www.snopes.com and www.urbanledgends.about.com I use them all the time and guess what??!! About 99% of those emails are false. False, I say!

So, my blog reading buddies, the next time your receive one of those emails before you hit forward, take the time to go to the websites above and check the email out for yourself. Your friends will be glad that you did.

Dear Body,

I listened to you yesterday, I really did.
I listened when you complained about getting up.
I listened when you said, "Stop doing that I hurt."
I listened when you said, "It's time for food."
I listened when you said "Don't go there, just stay home."
I listened when you said, at 8pm, "I'm getting tired."
I listened when you said, "Wouldn't it be nice to snuggle up in bed?".
I listened when you said, "Turn off the TV and go to sleep. I'll wake you when it's time to get up."
I didn't hear the giggle at the end of that statement though.
I did hear it at 2:30am.
And I wasn't laughing.
I wasn't laughing at 3am.
I wasn't laughing at 4am.
I wasn't laughing at 5am.
I wasn't laughing at 5:30am when you finally relented and let me sleep.
I really wasn't laughing at 6:20am when my alarm went off telling me "Get up for church!"
I wasn't laughing at 7am when I finally made it out of bed, nor was I laughing when I said to the lady behind the counter at the coffee shop, "Make it the biggest one!".
And I'm definitely not laughing now. Now when I need to listen to lectures, read my textbook and try to retain what I'm learning.
I'm not laughing and tonight, I'm not listening!
Grumpily,
Brittany