The Veggie Tales guy spoke at the General Session last night, Phil Vischer. He was the one who came up with the original idea for Veggie Tales. It was a good session, with the exception of rude talking guys and cellphones. Seriously, you want to talk, GO OUTSIDE!!!!!
Anyway, Phil was talking about his rise and fall with Veggie Tales. There was one thing that really stuck with me. He said that if God gives you a dream, makes the dream happen and then suddenly the dream goes away, maybe God is trying to get your attention to get you to ask yourself, "Is this dream more important in my life than God?". I almost burst into tears. It hit too close to home.
Lil Bro is engaged. When he told the family he was asking his fiance to marry him the only thing I could do was cry and cry hard, not for him but for me. It was horrible. Suddenly my dreams were crashing around me. I wasn't going to be the first one married, probably not the first to have children and there isn't anyone on the horizon at all. I spent a lot of time this summer asking God why it hurt so much, why I couldn't find that one person, if I'm destined to be the single girl at all the family events. I cried a lot.
Last night at General Session when Phil talked about dreams being ripped away, I realized that my dream really didn't have anything to do with God. It was just my dream. I owned it and expected God to fill in the missing parts. What a backwards idea about God, like I'm the one writing the story. It's easier sometimes to play the part of God rather than letting God be God and me be me. But I don't have the answers and unless I'm willing to listen to God, I'm just going to keep on struggling.