Today and other things

This morning I got to be a "room aunt".  Not a "room mom".  It was easier to describe myself as a kind-of-aunt to Creative Guy to the mom's that asked "which one is your child?".  K had asked me to go in and help with the craft project this morning.  She is the "room mom" and was in charge of getting snacks to the class and coming up with one craft project.  They did spiders out of Styrofoam balls and pipe cleaners.  Totally awesome! (I forgot to take a picture but let me just say, for someone who says she isn't crafty, K was crafty...in a good way!)

Creative Guy (the blond boy), K, Rebecca and Grace

I happen to know Creative Guy's teacher.  I was a care provider at her son's daycare when he was Creative Guy's age...which was about 12 years ago.  Sigh.  Anyway, Creative Guy's teacher recruited me for the Bingo Table as opposed to helping with the spider craft (don't worry another Mom helped K).  It was fun to just hang out with them.  Creative Guy was excited that I was there too.  He looked at his friend Grace and said "Isn't it so exciting that Brittany is here?!".  Too cute.

In the afternoon I went to coffee with LN.  As we were talking something that has been kinda rolling around in my brain came to the surface.  While I'm waiting for a job to come along, I think I need to find a place to volunteer.  Helping in Creative Guy's classroom filled some time that I would have otherwise wasted away.  So as I look for a job, I'm going to look for a place to volunteer as well.

In other news, this coming weekend I am joining Miss P and family at Disney on Ice.  Which hopefully will NOT be my car sliding around on the black ice or snow that is promised to be on the pavement in the mountains this weekend but will actually be Lightening McQueen and Mickey Mouse gliding gracefully across an ice rink.  I'm looking forward to hanging out with Miss P and family!

In true aunt fashion, I can't resist sharing this picture of Miss P coloring her pumpkin.  She took this job seriously!

Rushing the process

One of the things I like to do is bake.  Cakes in particular.  I like seeing what can be created, testing out new recipes and I love cake.  A couple of weeks ago I got a little creative, in my quest to find a good white/yellow cake recipe (from scratch).  I took my favorite chocolate cake recipe and just left out the chocolate.  Then I added Lemon Curd to the buttercream frosting and YUM!  Still not completely in love with the cake recipe, so I'll keep testing.

Today I am making a Salted Caramel Chocolate Cake.  It's from Martha's magazine.  I made the cake yesterday and the caramel and frosting today.  Currently the cake sits in the fridge, layered with the caramel, waiting for the frosting.  But I noticed a little issue.  The caramel is kinda oozing from the layers (6 total).  Which brings me to my problem with baking.

I tend to want to rush things along.  I don't always give myself enough time and try to rush the process.  Today is good example.  The caramel probably should have cooled just a little bit more before I added it to the layers, it probably wouldn't ooze as much.  But I'm supposed to be somewhere in 10 minutes with the cake, so I couldn't wait!  The result is a cake that I hope will taste good but looks a little messy.

I realized as I was thinking about it, that I'm not very good at waiting in life sometimes either.  Especially now.  I want a job.  I want to be settled into something and not just floundering.  I want this process to speed up.  Instead of really enjoying the moments, I'm finding myself getting anxious and trying to rush things along.  But that's not how God works.  I heard the other day that the average job search takes 180 days.  I almost flipped out.  That's 6 months!  I can't wait 6 months to have a job!!!

Or can I?  Is it really up to me?  Am I really trusting that God has me on this journey?  Am I really trusting that God will provide what I need, when I truly need it?  Or am I doubting God's promise to be with me on the journey?  I think I may be rushing the process.  *Sigh*

Got to go, I have a cake to frost.

Dots

• I have a hard time feeling sorry for myself.  As in, I may be going through tough stuff, but I am always extremely aware that there are people in the world that have life tougher than I do and they aren't whining on a blog.  That said, I'm finding life tough right now.  That's my whine.
• Last weekend Yo Momma and I volunteered to help spruce up a Conference Center.  It's a Presbyterian Conference Center.  There were about 35 people there.  35 Christian people, mostly Presbyterian, who loved Jesus, loved serving and were just awesome.  I've never been a big camp person, but last weekend made me want to work for that Conference Center.  I started getting ideas about programs they could do and ways they could reach out to Pastors and Youth Pastors and churches and...yeah, got a little creative.  My favorite, favorite moment, though was when I was sharing with a couple, in their 70's I think, about where my life is right now.  I said something to the effect of "God was clear that it was time to move on.  I'm just waiting for God to make it clear as to what to move on to."  The woman, J, looked at me and said "She will."  HA!  Just awesome.
• Last night Opinionated Friend and two other ministry minded women and I went to dinner together.  At one point one I looked at each of these women and was amazed at how God intertwines our lives together.  All four of us have been or are currently in Youth Ministry and in pretty big leadership positions.  It was good to look around the table and be reminded that God been at work and continues to work, not just in this community but in our lives and in our friendship.
• That whole statement above, is a good reminder for me as well.  God intertwines lives and works.  Even when I'm feeling pretty crappy, God is still at work.  Even when I doubt that God is hearing my pleas, my rants, my fears, my doubts, my hesitant acceptance of the moment, God is still at work.  I can't help but wish that God would work faster.  Sigh.
• I took a dream class in college.  At the last second, I found that I needed one or two units to graduate, so I took the first class that I could that met on the weekend.  Dream Interpretation is what I think it was.  I'm wishing, these days, that I had paid a whole lot more attention in that class.  Been having some crazy, strange dreams lately.  For example, the other night I had a dream that I was at home with Papa Bear and Yo Momma.  Papa Bear comes up and says "Did you see the goose and the monkey outside?"  To which I go to sliding glass doors and peer out, spying some people with a monkey and a goose.  All of a sudden, the monkey turns into 5 angry gorillas which see me at the window and start racing up the hill towards the house.  In a moment of panic I turned to Papa Bear and say "Did you close the front door."  And Papa Bear starts meandering towards the stairs saying "No.  But the monkey can't get through the screen door."  Those were some angry gorillas and I knew better, so I grabbed a chair to defend myself...and that is when I woke myself up.  Yep, some crazy dreams I've been having lately!  (And I can probably interpret that one a little.)

I think that's about all I've got tonight.

This is random??

One of my going away gifts when leaving the church was a brand spanking new I-pod with MEGA capacity.  I've been gradually updating it with all of my Cd's (yes, I am still old school and like Cd's.  Deal with it.).  I am a self-confessing, not ashamed, Amy Grant fan.  That means that in my CD collection there tend to be multiple songs due to "Greatest Hits" and "Live" versions of songs.  It is awesome.

Anyway, when in the car, the I-pod setting through the radio is set on random/shuffle (which means it will choose any song on my I-pod to play, just in case you were confused).  A few weeks ago I noticed that this so called "random" feature was doing something interesting.  For 9 songs straight, it would play an Amy Grant song, a Holly Williams song and another female artist that I can't think of right now.  It was a strange occurrence, especially seeing as how I only have one Holly William CD as opposed to multiple Amy Grant Cd's.  The strangeness did not end there.

A few days later, on random/shuffle, an Amy Grant song came on.  I sang along, as usual.  The next song came on and I found myself staring at the radio display, a little stupefied.  IT WAS THE SAME EXACT SONG!!  Only the live version.  I thought to myself "that's just weird."  Little did I know.  Today, it happened AGAIN!  The SAME SONG AS BEFORE!!

Now, I can handle this strange occurrence happening once.  Twice...I'm thinking that someone is trying to get my attention.

All Right--Amy Grant
Looking out to the hills to the setting sun
I feel a cold wind bound to come
Another change another end I cannot see
But your faithfulness to me is making it

[Chorus:]
All right
I fall down on my knees tell me that it's all right
You give me what I need
Years of knocking on heaven's door
Have taught me this if nothing more
That it's all right, what may come

I've heard it said when the river's running high
You get to higher ground or you die
Well muddy waves of pain washed over me
And it only made me see it's gonna be

[Chorus]

When will I learn there are no guarantees
What strengthens hope, my eyes have never seen
But it won't be long
Till the faith will be sight and the heavens will say
It's all right

It's just a word...that really bugs me

There's a word that has been making a resurgence around me lately and it's bugging me.  It's bugging me because it's been used to demean a certain group of people for years.  I am not nearly as eloquent as some other bloggers that I have read that have written about it, so I'm going to refer you to their sites in a second.  Here's what I will say though:  I've used words that are socially incorrect, politically incorrect before and have used this word as well.  Sometimes they are words that are a part of one culture I am involved with but not another and when used in the alternate cultures, I realize how hurtful, demeaning and inappropriate they are.  Some people will say "It's just a word."  You are correct.  It's how we intend the word to be received that makes the word harmful.  To that end it is my wish that we would stop using the "R" word.  As in a word that has been used in the past to describe people with Down Syndrome.

I can't fully articulate why this particular word bugs me, it really does have to do with why we use the word and the implications that we mean in using the word, so I'm going to stop with these few thoughts.  For further thoughts on the use of the "R" word, I refer you to Sarahlynn and Amy.**  Both women have daughters with Down Syndrome and have written about this in the past.

**Just realized that I sent you to Amy's blog but the post was written by a guest blogger, Margot Starbuck.  Still, I highly recommend Amy's blog for more thoughts on Down Syndrome.

Be still my heart

Adventure Boy turned 5 last week.  We celebrated by going to the Children's Discovery Museum.  K told Adventure Boy that he could invite two friends, which he did and then there was one extra friend to hang out with Creative Guy.  Grandma R and N rounded out the group of us.

Adventure Boy wanted a Darth Vader cake just like Creative Guy's.  It wasn't quite the same but it came out pretty well!  I had to get a little creative with the sides cuz part of the sides stayed in the pan.  Sigh.  It was a reallllllllyyyyyyy yummy cake though.  If I do say so myself.

After Adventure Boy's party, we headed up to Meg's house for Emi-Pie's birthday party.  She turned 4.  I can't believe how quickly the years are going by.  Anyway, while at Emi-Pie's party, Meg asked Adventure Boy "What friends did you take to the party?"  To which he replied "Owen, Damien, Dominick and Brittany."  I love that boy.

Updated: A three step program

1. Write your stinkin' resume!  Done! (Thanks Meg for the edits!)
2. Write your cover letter  Check!
3. Apply for the job.  *Gulp* check!

Let the waiting begin!

Time to make a move

I went to dinner the other night, with two fantastic women.  Absolutely fantastic women...they also happen to be former youth group members.  I'm enjoying the freedom of not being the youth director anymore.  I enjoyed just hanging out with these fantastic women and being totally, completely, honestly me.  Though, in all truthfulness these two women have seen me be totally, completely, honestly me before and survived.  The stories they could tell!

Anyway, as we chatted I had a bit of a revelation.  It came in two waves.  One at dinner, one later on the way home.  I've always known my sense of what I am and am not good at is pretty skewed.  I'm definitely one of those people who give myself enough credit for being good at things.  I'm my hardest critic.  When it comes to writing down on paper, in the form of a resume, things that I do well I'm hitting a wall.  I've got a lot of blank spaces.  In searching for a job I have seen things that I know that I could do but then I look at the requirements and I panic a little.  I feel so very unqualified.

While talking with these ladies, though, I realized two things.  One:  I can do these jobs.  I do have the experience.  My resume may not say the exact words that are outlined on the requirements, but I definitely have the experience needed!  Two:  I could probably do the job that isn't listed.  The job one or two levels higher.  I have that experience too!  It's time for me to step it up and believe in myself and the abilities that I have.  It's time to get a move on and apply for a job!

So, here's the thing.  I need your help, Internet friends.  This week I need to get my resume completed and apply for one, just one job (here's hoping there is one to apply for!).  So keep me accountable?  If we see each other, gently ask.  If by Friday there is nothing posted here about actually accomplishing my goal, well, leave a comment and gently nudge. 

I'm so grateful for the time to spend with friends.  It's amazing what insights can be found having dinner with two fantastic women.