Sunday, November 20, 2011

This morning at church...

Yo Momma and I have been attending a new church.  It's the same church were I work one day a week for the Youth Pastor as his Administrative Assistant (praise Jesus!).  A few weeks ago the church started promoting a new Sunday School class on Peacemaking.  We both looked at each other and said "I want to go to that class."  So we bought the books and have been going to the class.  It means getting to church an hour earlier, but seeing as how that time is two hours later than when we had to be at old church, it's not a problem.

This morning we pulled up and someone we knew as coming out to his car.  He looked at us as we got out and said "Brittany, did you hear what happened?  Did anyone call you?  There was a break-in last night!  They stole your computer!".  I immediately flashed on the envelope that has been sitting on my desk with cash and checks in it from an event and I went to see if that had been taken as well.  (It had not.)  Along the way I met several other people and learned that three computers were taken and the churches Suburban...which part of me isn't really sorry to see go.

Anyway, I breathed a little easier about the money, gave the Administrative Assistant a reassuring hug, took a quick look around the office and decided not to dwell on the break in and headed off to my class where we talked about finding peace with God.  In the midst of that class I found myself being used as an example, as in one person said "Let's say that I saw that something was going on in Brittany's life and I felt the need to confront her...".  Another person picked it up and I found myself the center of a discussion that wasn't really about me.  I told Yo Momma later that it was interesting that I was the safe one in that group to use as an example.  The conversation was good, the class is making me think, though I'm struggling a little with the author of book's approach to the topic of peacemaking.

Finally we got to the worship the round!  All the chairs had been moved so that we were all facing the center of the room where the communion table was.  Instead of a sermon, the focus was on communion and Thanksgiving.  Several young ladies in the church read Scripture, several people prayed and then the floor was opened to the people in the congregation.  Microphones were passed around and people were encouraged to say what they were thankful for.  As I sat listening this group of people I started to think about what I was thankful for.  If the microphone was passed to me what would I say?  The more I listened to others, the more I pondered that question, the more I realized that I was grateful for the one thing that I have been struggling with the most...I am thankful for change.

I am thankful for change.  I am thankful for the conversation that God and I had back in May that lead to this upheaval in my life  I am thankful for time to rest and rediscover the meaning of the word "bored".  I am thankful for the opportunities I was given in my previous job and I am thankful that the transition has been a little rough in areas and easier in others.  I am thankful for a new place to worship that is offering me solace as I wait on God and grieve and for the people who have been welcoming and loving.  I am thankful for people who remember my name during communion, even though they have only met me a few times.  I am thankful for my 6 hour a week job.  I am thankful for friends who listen, even if they don't get it.  I am thankful for blogger friends who leave notes of encouragement and support as I whine.  I am thankful for the struggle to trust fully in God's plan and for the freedom to cry out to God in the midst of that struggle.  I am thankful for my family.  I am thankful for a place where I am finally beginning to feel fed again.  I am thankful for black and white paisley printed duct tape and the way it holds my guitar case together.  I am thankful for the nudge from a friend to get that guitar out of it's case and start playing again.  I am thankful for this journey, right now, the ups and downs, the laughter and the tears, the wondering and the regrets.  I am thankful for the memories of what was and the vast ocean of possibilities that is to come.   

No comments: